Falling Through the Deep Slot
by Chris Kenworthy
Summary: The crew take on a fast courier run from one Independent planet to another, across the core of the 'Verse, but run into problems when the forward radar fuzzes out. Kaylee decides to hold a wake for Wash. Sequel to "Passing through the Storm."
1. Chapter 1

(Simon.)

"I... I don't think I can watch any more of this," Kaylee said, shuddering and getting up from the narrow two-person couch in Serenity's lounge. (I didn't particularly like the fact that she wasn't beside me anymore, but understood why.) "It - it's not like they're really telling us anything new at this point, just replaying the videos that they've got over and over again, and talkin' more about what they think of it all..." She reached out for the control that would darken the screen, but thought better of enforcing her will upon everybody else's viewing choice, no matter how good her reasons were.

"The way of the 'verse, Kaylee," Mal said softly, a bitter smile on his face. "When all is said and done, the Cortex news networks only care about ratings, and following the pack instinct. Nobody wants to stop focusing on a story like this, no matter how little of note they have to say - or how it affects the spirit of those who can't stop watching..."

"Ooh, hey, violence and gore!" Jayne exclaimed, passing through at just the right moment and getting distracted by the scene being shown - an argument turning into a knife-fight in a ravaged urban neighbourhood, the street lit by waste-receptacle fires. "What's the series? Or is it a feature?"

"Actually, despite the high quality of the brutality being shown, this wasn't staged for our entertainment by the vid studios," I muttered in disgust, standing up and embracing Kaylee as a way to show that I supported her. "At least, not as far as we know. It's being aired as news footage from the Sihnon riots."

"Ohh." Jayne considered that, and then pulled a small bag of self-puffing corn out of one of his big cargo pockets. "Seems like good viewing anyway."

I shared a look with Kaylee, and we left the lounge together - to my surprise, we were followed by Mal, Zoe, and Inara, which would leave Jayne alone in there. As the five of us milled around in the hallway uncertainly, an unfamiliar voice called out. "Hello, Captain Reynolds, Doctor Tam, Miss Frye... erm."

The tall, dusky-skinned man seemed to be a bit embarrassed that he didn't know Inara's name or title, and I knew that he hadn't gotten Zoe's last name when she'd introduced herself, just 'Zoe.' (Maybe she was feeling uncomfortable about still taking Wash's name after he was gone, or just with reminding herself of him that way.) Mal seemed to think that enough time had been taken up with names already. "Hey. Everything in passenger quarters to your satisfaction?"

"Yes, entirely. You were watching the news reports from the inner worlds?"

"Such as they are, yes," Kaylee responded bitterly.

"It's hard to watch suffering like that, and not be able to help," the passenger said softly. His own name was Hasati Norak, and he was some kind of diplomatic administrator who we were ferrying to Hera - along with two other people and a cargo hold full of military equipment. "The Alliance is dying, perhaps, drowning in the blood sins of its ruling class."

"It's hurting," Inara replied sharply, and then bit her lip. Hasati gestured that she should go on, and I wondered if Inara felt that she had been pushed to speaking out of turn because of her own pain over the Sihnon riots and the passenger's remark. "That's all that any of us can say for the present, I mean - the pain and suffering. Whether the Alliance as an institution will die, or **should** die..."

"Yes, I apologize for speaking so, dear lady," Hasati muttered, taking Inara's hand and bowing to kiss the fingers very lightly. "You are a Sihnon national?" Mal was starting to bristle at the attention that this stranger was paying to her, both verbal and tactile, and I forced myself not to watch him out of the corner of my eye, instead following the conversation fixedly. Just what **had** happened between the two of them on that ill-fated trip to the Ares moon? Kaylee was inordinately curious about that, although from what Mal had said so far, there hadn't been much of interest to it.

"Umm... I was born there, but the citizenship situation is a little bit complicated, actually," Inara muttered. "Licensed companions who leave their home worlds are generally under the authority and protection of the guild, rather than planetary expatriates..."

"Ahh, I see." Hasati took a respectful step back. "May I inquire as to your name, Companion?"

"Inara - In..." She broke off repeating her name, which I had been assuming would have been a precursor to mentioning her own last name. Why hadn't she wanted to introduce herself to this person in full? "And I'm not really an active Companion at the moment, just recently in fact I was, well, maybe I should just say that..."

"Don't worry," Hasati said with a trace of a smile. "I wasn't thinking of asking you for an... appointment. We'll probably both be too busy for business of this sort on the trip."

"Ahh, yes." Inara did breathe a bit of a sigh of relief. "Sorry, it was very nice to meet you Mister Norak, but I believe I need to go and meditate. To, umm, to purge the distress from my spirit of those news reports..."

"Oh, right," Mal agreed, shifting his feet slightly. "I reckon I could do with getting my mind off things too. Of course, I don't meditate, so..."

"I could **try** teaching you, if you promise not to snicker," Inara told him. I looked over at her and she was flushing very faintly. Or so it seemed - a bit hard to tell given her usually richly coloured skin, but... hmmm. "Come on."

"Hey, now... meditating?" Mal didn't move from the spot where he was standing. "Me? Seriously?"

"If you don't want to, Mal, then just say so," Inara snapped. Kaylee let out a little giggle right next to me. "But yes, I do think that you're capable of it, and that you might get something out of the experience. If you're **afraid** to explore your own mind and spirit, then..."

"Hey, I ain't afreed of nothin'," Mal growled, crossing over to join Inara. "You just lead the mantra, and I'll follow along as best I ever can..." The two of them left, the sounds of a relatively decent bicker fading out quickly behind them.

"One matter I must bring to the attention of the crew," Hasati put in, as if afraid that we'd all head off in different directions and leave him now. "One of the cases of artillery ordinance has shifted slightly on the top of its pile while we were executing the gravitational assist..."

"Of course," Zoe said, stepping up. "I'll take care of that..." She hesitated, realizing that it was beyond her capacity even with the assistance of the simple cargo bay motary. Her dark gaze slid over me, and then flicked back into the lounge, pondering the wisdom of separating Jayne from his riot footage.

"I'll be happy to assist, and perhaps the other passengers are too if they are needed," Hasati volunteered. "Just felt that there should be a ranking member of the crew on hand... especially since the motary won't activate without a control code."

"Alright, let's get it done," Zoe grumped and headed off towards the cargo bay. Hasati followed, which meant that I was alone with Kaylee. I like the sound of those five words. 'I was alone with Kaylee.'

"Hmm... maybe I should check on the inertia softeners," Kaylee muttered, her pretty face drawing itself into a slight frown. "If something shifted from that slingshot... that was what he meant by 'gravity assist', yeah?"

"Yes," I assured her, having not thought of it much as I mentally translated the fancier vocabulary into terms that the Serenity crew tended to use. Kaylee led the way towards the engine room, and I followed her out of habit.

"Well, there might be even rougher manoeuvres on the other side of the slot, and since we're carrying so much that can go 'boom' down there..."

"Then anything you can do to minimize the shock and impact of the engines firing would be good, yeah," I agreed. "Any idea how long it'll take?"

Kaylee turned to me and made a cute face. "Aww... are you feeling impatient for some other kind of couples time? Don't wanna just hang around and watch me tinker?"

I had to laugh at the way she put it. "As much as I usually love to be there when you're working... I'm not so sure about it tonight. Do you hate me for saying so?"

"Of course not." Stepping into the engine room, she tried to size up the job that awaited her. "It could be an hour and a half or more. But why don't you head up to the cockpit and keep your sister company? I know that she'll appreciate it."

"Yeah, okay I guess." I reached out to hug Kaylee and kiss her. The words 'I love you' ran through my head, but I froze before saying them, not sure if it would seem too soon. "Take care of these pretty fingers, and don't work too hard sweetheart." Okay, that felt like an even worse thing to say, but gwai-gwai long duh dong.

#

"Yeah, I'm doing okay," River said without taking her eyes from the control panel yet. "We're falling into the center of the 'verse at something like thirty clicks per second, which is nothing like the top speed that we'll get up to." She looked up. "Between that and the fact that space isn't too crowded around here, maybe it's time I try to get a little bit of rest, actually."

"Hmm... I wouldn't have put it that way, but maybe yes." I hadn't really thought about what it would be like for River, piloting through the very middle of her 'slot' trajectory. Instead of following a normal orbit around the 'Verse' from Boros to Hera, we were going to be short-cutting through it, flying at high speeds through space that would be relatively full of other ships, debris both natural and artificial, and taking on a vector, (that is, a direction and speed,) that was very different than most of the rest of it. In other words, if Serenity weren't in the right place at the right time, it would get torn apart instantly, and only constant vigilance from my little sister could fend off that dire fate. I knew that she was steely and determined, and I had some experience with performing at the top of my game for a long time at a stretch, like a double ventricular reduction operation. But it would be several days straight when River would hardly be able to take her eyes away from the flight controls I knew, and that was something that I'd never be able to do.

So I distracted her - or maybe I was trying to distract myself. "So, just what's the deal with that Derek guy, and how did he recognize you?" River glanced back to the console. "Did you meet him in the city, on Boros, when you were out so late?"

"Yes, but there's no need to act all Dad-ly about it," River said, rolling her eyes. Hmm - just how _would_ Father have tried to deal with River by the time she was this age? Probably he wouldn't have worried too much if she was staying out late - just as long as she was meeting boys whose families were of a sufficient social station. About the last thing that **I** wanted was for River to get involved with somebody who was rich, privileged, and entitled - I remember being a guy who fit that description all too well. And that brings up another thing - just why was this Derek kid a passenger on such an important trip halfway across the 'Verse? "I... I told you about the bounty hunter I sensed, looking for me, right?" I grunted, not having needed the reminder about that fact. "I thought the best idea was to get out of the way, leave the city. Derek had access to a car, so I flirted with him and suggested a field trip. That's all it was."

"Hmm..." I considered this. "So I should be reassured that you were just using a perfectly nice-seeming young man for his hover-wheels, letting him think that you really liked him?"

"Simon!" she exclaimed, either unused to me teasing her or not recognizing it. "He... well, first off, they were actual wheels; nothing hover about it. And second... do you actually want me to _not_ do everything I can to stay out of the way of bounty hunters, up to and including taking advantage of well-meaning strangers?"

"Hmm, I suppose that you've got me there," I admitted. "So if that's all there was, how did you leave it with him? I assume that he drove you back into the city when you thought it was safe, near that small spaceyard where we were docked." She nodded. "And did the two of you, umm, after he dropped you off, or before..."

"Did I give him a kiss for being my knight in shining armour?" River smiled much too cleverly. "Think I'll let you stew about that one for a little while."

"I could just go and lean on the boy," I said. "Find out the truth straight from the horse's mouth."

"Oh really?" River arched an eyebrow. "Don't lean on what you aren't sure you can push over, brother. Derek may be younger than you, but I think he could take you."

Alright, that sort of teasing I definitely didn't have to just stand here and take. "I... I think I'll see how Kaylee's getting on with the Inertia softeners," I muttered. Just before leaving I noticed an odd expression come across my sister's face as she looked at one of the screens, the forward radar or something like that. "Is there anything wrong?"

"No, it's alright... I think," she said.

Not quite sure how to take that, I walked back into the forward passageway.

#

(Mal.)

"I... I thought that meditation was usually quieter than that," I panted, as the loveliest woman in the 'verse collapsed, all nekkid and a bit sweaty, next to me on the richly soft bed sheets. Of course, I was all nekkid and more than a bit sweaty too. "Though come to think of it, my mind does seem a bit clearer and less full of the little chattering voices than usual, so that sounds maybe good." Inara brushed some hair back from where it had fallen across the side of her face and shot me a glare. "Yes, I get it that the meditation practice thing was just an excuse. Was just tryin' to be slightly funny, and maybe I'd better as not try again too soon."

"No, actually..." she breathed sweetly, reaching out her arm to lay palm on the side of my chest, "I think I would like it if you keep trying to be funny around me. Maybe with enough exposure, I'll actually start to recognize, if not appreciate the experience."

My heart fell for a second, before I realized that she was actually teasing me. "Okay, so, umm... what now? I mean, well... that was great, but I ain't exactly itchin' for another go just yet, an' I don't feel sleepy or anything. We could talk, I s'pose, but I'm not sure what you're in the mood to talk about and what's not to be talked about, and..."

"Hmm..." She stared up to the ceiling of the shuttle and considered the question. "Yeah, it's not much like a talking night. Some other time, sure, but not so soon after... um, you know." I nodded, and brought my own hand over hers, since that was the quickest way that occurred to show some kind of emotional support in this situation. "One thing that I'd like to ask, actually... I mean, since neither of us seem especially clear on what the ground rules to this thing going on between us should be - do you have an objection to trying out activities to do together on the grounds that they're... part of my Companion repertoire? Aside from the sexual stuff, I mean."

"Hmm." I had to think about that one. "Not as such, I suppose... I might veto particular things on the grounds of them sounding stupid or just not something that I'm interested in, but not just because... because they're other stuff that you've done for pay." Took a deep breath. "Might have thought that **you'd** object on those grounds, though - drawing a firm dividing line between your affair with me, and your Guild career, I mean."

"It's you, and I won't be charging," Inara shot back among laughs. "That seems about as firm a dividing line as I'll need. Anything in my life, anything I can think of doing together - I want to share it with you. I'm holding nothing back from you when we're together, Mal."

No, you aren't, I thought silently. You're holding back the truth from our friends and crewmates - well, except maybe for Zoe, and I haven't even had a chance to pull her aside and let her know the score... or even decided if I really want to tell her, but that's another story. And you're holding back parts of yourself, parts of your life that you're not ready to give to me totally, when it's not just the two of us in private - like continuing to see other men and calling them 'clients,' or refusing to even consider marriage. But it would do no good to voice any of those thoughts, so I kept them inside me yet again. "Alright, then - any suggestions? Welcoming tea ceremony? Massage of some sort? We actually have room to do some courtly and elaborate dance here in that open section of the cabin, if you turn a bit of music." She was laughing at my suggestions, but that was certainly better than letting her brood about fires and riots. "Or maybe you could just brush my hair very carefully, try something in a simple braid or I-don't-know..."

I didn't get any farther on account of Inara more or less throwing her purdy body back on top of mine and pressing our lips into a kiss. "Or maybe I take a chance to see if I can _get_ you itchin' for a repeat performance, Mal Reynolds," she whispered, leaving her mouth still only a hair's width from my own.

"Well, stranger things have been known to happen," I admitted in panting breath, letting one hand wander from her shoulder to collarbone, neck, tweaking an earlobe and burying my fingers in rich, curly, dark brown hair. Sure enough, I could feel the weapon of my passion starting to rise on guard once again, and it was easy to tell that she was ready for lovemaking once again, or at least sexplay, since the difference between the two is less a question of the physical and involves other distinctions. Whatever it was she wanted of me, though, I was eager for it and more.

#

Much as I tried not to, both of us sortuv slept for a patch after indulging the climax of our lust for the second time, and when I came back around, I just sort of lay there next to Inara, marvellin' at how pretty and sweet she looked like that. Finally her eyes popped open and she said "Well, the 'welcoming ceremony' is sort of out of place at this point, though we could have tea if you like," just like an earlier train of conversation hadn't gone off the tracks. "Or massage - me doing you, you doing me, or both. Not sure about the dancing or hair brushing. We could even actually try the meditation stuff if you really feel like it..."

"Hmm." Wasn't sure how long it would be before anybody noticed that I'd been in here for quite a while, but I couldn't bring myself to leave the lady's side just because of that, especially when it were possible that nobody's paying attention. "How about the massage, and talkin'? I mean, I'll try not to bring up - anything distressing, but we done got this far by actually communicating and telling each other how we feel, so it seems a shame to clam up just because the naughty stuff is gettin' done."

Inara raised an eyebrow. "Alright, then. What do you want to talk about?" She brought her hands up from under the covers and flexed fingers slightly as if limbering up.

"Nah, nuh-uh." Gently and tenderly I encouraged her to lie back down and turn around onto her stomach. "I might not have Companion training or anything for obvious reasons, but being stuck on a battleground for weeks on end, you learn a little something about giving back rubs and attending to other sore muscles. I get to take my turn first."

"Hmm... not sure that I'm that sore anywhere," Inara sighed as I started to rub her shoulders, "but hmm, yeah, we can give this a try, sure." I chuckled softly. "And you didn't answer about what you wanted to talk about."

"Hmm." I considered asking something meaty, like what the theological precepts of the Companion's guild religion were that were not taught to 'outsiders,' but it only took a second to decide that staying well clear of issues like that would be wiser. Inara was sincere in her intentions when she said that she would hold nothing back from me when we were alone together, I knew, but that didn't mean that pushing things too far too fast was wise. "How long was it from when you left the Sihnon temple before we met? Where did you go in the time between?"

She let out a happy sigh, which I had to take as a good sign, though whether it was due to the massaging or the question I couldn't be sure. "Well, let's see... you first interviewed me about renting the shuttle in early Mithuna of 2516, right?" I grunted an acknowledgment, though I couldn't have placed the date that closely myself offhand, it sounded about right. "So I'd been traveling for perhaps seven months already at that point... well, I guess the term 'traveling' is rather loose, since I wasn't exactly on the move in all of the time since I left Sihnon, except in the sense that all the worlds of the 'Verse are constantly moving. Took a luxury space liner out of the Great City, which wasn't too different from being on the Heart Worlds in some ways in terms of the sort of people you meet."

"Good clientele, you mean," I put in.

"Safe clientele, yes... the sort of people I felt comfortable among." Inara sighed slightly. "That ship put in on Bellerophon and Ariel, and I saw some of each of those worlds, but didn't get to stay too long at either. Then at Osiris, I went to a Guild temple and stayed to learn for about a month and a half, as they were running a primer on the outer 'Verse - peoples and cultures, the way the women of our... craft were viewed in different places, who the various potential clients broke down and how to spot a thrill seeker who couldn't, or wouldn't, pay."

"Ahh," I said. "So you didn't just head out into the more distant planets without some sort of preparation?"

"Oh, no." She sighed. "I also had a few more specific questions for those teaching the class, because my reasons for going further out weren't entirely those that other girls felt - impatience with the strict culture of the Core worlds, and sometimes even stricter supervision from their Guild superiors... or any passion for great adventure and wild romance on the frontier planets. I mean, I guess I got all of that, the freedom and the big love affair, but I wasn't looking for it."

Stayed silent at this point, with an effort. The real reason that Inara had left Sihnon was another of those questions that I didn't want to push her about, though she had said that she'd tell me before we landed on Hera. "Well, then I shipped out, took a somewhat less prestigious passenger liner as far as Greenleaf, and then found a berth on a fast three-courier. You know, a ship carrying mail, cargo, and passengers..."

"Yeah, I'm familiar with the term."

"And that ship took me to Paquin, where I stayed for a bit longer, and then hopped a short-run freighter to Ezra. Which is where I heard that a Firefly owner was looking for a shuttle leasor, and tracked you down."

"Yes, I remember that," I admitted, working down towards her lower back. In fact, though I'm not sure if Inara had ever known it, Wash had come up with the idea of specifically getting a Companion to come along as passenger or rent the shuttle, because we'd had trouble getting clearance to land on Ezra to meet with one of Niska's lackeys, and the Companion's guild insisted that any ship with a Companion aboard should get landing clearance automatically at any port in the 'verse, so that their members could meet appointments without delay. Maybe if she asked, I'd tell her about that part. She might find it funny now. "So, just going from place to place, until you found us? No funny stories or..."

"Well, a lot of my stories are the ones that I can't tell you about." She paused, sighing loudly, and shook her head slightly. "And already I'm breaking my vow that there isn't anything that I won't share with you, but... but one, I'm not sure if you really _want_ me to tell you anything about my... clients, and second, that stuff is supposed to be privileged information. I need at least to make sure that you understand that, so that you'd never repeat..."

"Hey, yeah, that's alright," I quickly cut her off. "Yes, I get that it's secret, and I'll never tell a secret that you entrust to me." But I didn't really want to hear about her customers, except that... "So just how did you meet Atherton Wing? I mean, if you'd never been to Persephone before you came on board. I know that we'd been there once before the big shindig, but I got the impression that you'd, umm - 'seen him' before even that. Figured that your wanderings had led you there at least once before we'd met."

Somehow even the skin of Inara's back flushed slightly. "Well, yes I... he was a regular back on Sihnon."

"Oh." I thought about that. "Fairly long trip - did he used to live there, or travel on business... never got the impression that mister Wing attended to business much..."

"For **fencing** lessons," Inara put in, laughing softly, which made her body tremble beneath my hands. "The most prestigious schools of swordplay are on Sihnon, or some of them anyway. Atherton was inattentive to almost everything else, but his chosen avocation of the blade was certainly something that he was serious about." I thought about that. "And don't get that smug smile on your face, Mal Reynolds - you were bold and you were lucky. Fencing is like poker that way - sometimes the newbie can beat the expert, just on a fluke."

"With the difference that in poker, the expert can keep on playing and clean up in the long run," I pointed out. "And though I was smiling, don't think I was feeling smug - yet."

"Oh, well then I guess I warned you off in time." I laughed at that interpretation. "Come on, this is great, but it's my turn to do you I think."

"Sure?" Daringly I let my hands slip below her waist.

"Hmm... this is getting to be more than just back rubs and tending to swollen muscles, Mister Reynolds." Inara let out a low, erotic moan. "But no matter how good your hands can make me feel, that won't stop me from feeling strongly about doing equal time." And suddenly she twisted so that I spun around and landed on my back, with my but and legs hanging off the edge of the bed because of how far down it I'd been to bring my hands to her bottom end. Inara was on top of me, facing up to start, but quickly she squirmed herself around and started to run her hands over my chest in a way that wasn't just arousing or sensuously comforting, but almost like sexual satisfaction in and of that touch alone.

"Why don't you tell me about your first job on 'Serenity'?" Inara said through a big grin, before bending down so that a curtain of dark hair cut off my view of her face and tickled my neck. "You and Zoe and Wash..."

"And Bexter."

"Right, Bexter... can't forget about him."

"Well, it started off pretty simple - a cargo run carrying medical supplies to Persephone..."

#

(River.)

"Hey, River."

I looked up at the not-too-familiar voice, even though on some level I'd already known who was coming up to the cockpit. Checked the flight board. "Passengers aren't supposed to be up here."

"There's nobody around to catch me," Derek said with a little smile. "Look, it isn't hard to tell that you never really expected to see me again after that one night, and maybe you're feeling a little embarrassed about the fact that you told a few little white lies. If - if you want me to just completely avoid you the rest of the trip, then I will, but I had to come up and talk to you one more time, at least."

"Umm, oh, sheesh," I muttered, sighed, and made eye contact with him one more time. "I... I won't be avoiding **you** completely, Derek - though maybe you shouldn't make a point of coming up here. I'll have to be in the cockpit most of the time for this flight, and - and I need to concentrate, so getting distracted won't be helping anybody. But I'll come see you before you have to leave on Hera, at least, and I do sort of wish that we had more time than this."

"Okay, well, I guess I'll take what I can get," he admitted. "Do I have to leave now?"

"Umm... no, I think we're good for a bit," I admitted, and smiled. He grinned too and without a word, sat down on the other chair. "So, have you heard any more about the political fallout?"

"Yeah - the Alliance Parliament has recessed indefinitely," he filled in. "Translation, they know that there are enough people trying to kill them or hold them hostage that they don't feel like sitting in session where they're supposed to be. Time to duck and run."

"Seems like," I agreed. "And Ariel's planetary assembly has passed a resolution condemning the Parliament's 'unconstitutional executive actions,' and taking emergency control of all Alliance government offices and employees - though they were careful to phrase it so that they weren't declaring independence, like Boros did." I sighed. "Wish there was more news from Osiris - my brother's still worried about our parents."

"Hmm, yeah," Derek admitted. "I can't remember hearing much about that world except 'some riots reported in the cities." I nodded unhappily. "Okay, this may be a weird question, but was your captain - that Mal guy - was he really involved in the Miranda broadcast? I mean, I heard something about it when my parents were talking about sending me off to Hera with him - but it doesn't really add up. How would a..."

At that point, I wasn't able to contain some slightly hysterical laughter and it broke off, puzzling Derek. "Umm, okay, I'll tell you some of the story of the broadcast, but seriously you cannot tell _anyone_ that I told you, not even the crew or the other passengers. They may know some of it - the passengers, I mean, obviously the whole crew knows, but we're not supposed to be spreading the secret."

"Umm - of course, yeah, absolutely between you and me," Derek said, his eyes wide with surprise. "So what's the deal? Do you really know everything?"

"Well, pretty nearly - because the story starts with me, or just about." I tried to figure out the best way to explain. "When I was a few years younger, I was in a government institution on Osiris, and government scientists... well, there's a bunch of stuff that went on there that I'm **not** going to get into now. I was part of an important experiment, though, you could say, and there were important Parliament ministers who were shown through the facility. That must be where I found out about Miranda originally. So about a week, maybe eleven days ago, I'm following some of the gang into this bar on Beaumonde and was watching something on a vid screen, and things start to go crazy..."

It took me a while to go over the basic narrative, even skipping over anything that would scare the poor boy off too hard just for the time being. "I don't know too much about how the actual transmission went out - Mal hasn't talked about it much, and it was only him and that creepy Operative guy, down over Mister Universe's power reactor. I was up near the front door, just trying to... to hold off the Reavers and so on. With my brother, and Kaylee, both badly hurt, and..."

"Wait a second." Derek's eyes were firmly on mine. "There's something that you're hiding from me - about the Reavers. What _exactly_ were you doing to help hold them off?"

Oh, man. I never thought that he'd ask me that question. "Err, Derek, come on, it's a bit hard for me to answer that question."

"Take a chance and trust me," he implored. "I... I have a need to know things like this, it's a personality flaw."

"Okay, umm..." Big deep breath. "I ran into the forward room and sealed the blast doors to keep the others - my brother and his friends - safe. Oh, after tossing his dropped medical bag back through." Derek's eyes widened, but he didn't say anything in response. "As they converged on me, I just... did whatever I could to stay alive and beat them back when I could. After the first few went down, I grabbed their blades, and so that made it a bit easier to stay afloat..." Sensed something coming up the dining room. "Sheesh, you gotta get out of here!"

"Umm - where?" Derek got up, looking around, and he must have heard a telltale himself. "Gorram it, no way out and I'm really not even supposed to be in crew quarters..."

"First bunk on the left as you go out is mine, my new one," I whispered. There'd been a lot of reshuffling, but I liked my new digs. "Nobody will look for you down there, and you make a run for the stern as _soon_ as the coast is clear, get me?" He nodded, and hurried away. I could see plain as day an impulse to hang back and try to kiss me, no matter if that made him late, but he didn't follow through on it. Was surprised that part of me wished that he had.

When Zoe poked her head, I made a point of asking her all kinds of questions about Hera so that she wouldn't be paying attention to anything other than memories of her time there, so that Derek could sneak back up my ladder and head off.

#

Zoe was back an hour later, in fact, she was sitting in the pilot's chair when I got back from a quick run to the head. (And I mean quick - hands washed and everything in one hundred and four seconds isn't anything to sneeze at.) "Figured that you could use a plate from the dinner table."

"Plates are good," I agreed, stepping up to the console, just close enough that Zoe could slide out and step away to let me in, which she did after a few seconds. "If they have food on them, so much the better... yeah." Zoe pointed, and I pulled the napkin away to reveal a tasty-smelling squash risotto.

"So, how high a transverse velocity do you figure we'll meet at our lowest point in the sun's gravity well?" Zoe asked, a bit sharply and using her Corporal Zoe voice, which cued me in that this was something like a pop quiz.

"Umm... I haven't memorized the figure. Something like... err, a hundred and seventy kilometres a second?"

"No more?" Her face was forbidding and severe. "I thought that we were crossing the 'verse in just ten days."

"Ten and a half, and maybe it'll be more than that," I grumbled. "Don't worry; I'll get you to Hera on time."

Zoe kept staring at me for a long moment, and I wondered if she was going to say something to compare me against Wash. Actually peeked into her head for a moment, and what I saw surprised me. She wasn't trying to be hard on me, just feeling impatient because... "Why do you want to get back out to Ita moon and figure out what trajectory we were on so bad? And what does that have to do with getting pregnant?"

The first response to those blurted-out questions, as I should have been able to guess, was a look so fierce that it actually knocked me sideways. (Picking up Zoe's anger and frustration probably helped with the effect.) "If you don't learn to respect people's privacy a little better, girl, you're not going to have any friends left around here."

"Sorry... I'm trying, but sometimes stuff just kind of hits me hard enough, and I'm still not good at the impulse control thing," I admitted. "Will work harder on it."

"But now that you know, I guess I might as well - that is, it could help to talk about it," she muttered, sitting herself down. Hmm - am I going to get everybody unburdening themselves while I fly this run? Then again, I was the one doing the confessing with Derek, not the other way around. "I... I thought that I was carrying Wash's child when we got to Boros. Maybe... maybe I was, but if so I lost him - or her..."

"When you got shot," I filled in. Both Zoe and Jayne had been attacked and left for dead because of a bounty hunting assignment that Jayne had taken on Boros and invited Zoe to partner him on. "And - and you **want** to have a baby?"

"Wash's baby, if I can," she said in a low voice. "Somebody to... to start over with, to carry on for. Bit of a long shot I know, but... well, your brother said that my guy had him do sperm testing, and that the sample is flying through space out around there."

"Why would he have sent it out into space?" I asked.

"Not really clear on that, though knowing him, it could have been part of some really tasteless joke - like imagining salvagers picking it up." I had to giggle a bit. "I realize that we might not be able to get to that corner of the 'Verse again anytime soon..."

"Well, you never know," I said. "I... I wanted to come to Hera, because of that message from the other Academy escapees, and - and then the captain got this job." I paused. "You haven't told Mal or anyone else about this?"

"No, I... well, maybe I should mention it, at that. He deserves to know what's goin' on in my head, if it could affect our work, and this might."

"Yeah," I agreed. "He'd support you in this too, I think, as much as he can."

"Hmm, yeah," she said. "I wonder if he's still meditating in Inara's shuttle."

As soon as she said the words, my mind wandered over to one side of 'Serenity' and back, which is much further than I can usually 'read' as far as I've noticed - with the exception of a few cases like the bounty hunter back on Boros. And what I could detect from Inara's shuttle... no, nobody was meditating there, definitely, and - hmmm now. Probably better keep what Mal and Inara were doing to each other under wraps for now. They have their own reasons for wanting to keep it quiet. "I'm not sure, but he'll be around to check on the course before too long I expect."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," Zoe agreed. "Well, if you see him, tell him I was lookin' to talk to him. I guess I'll go down to the cargo bay and check on all of that darn ammunition again." She got up, and looked around the cockpit. "You planning on snoozin' in that chair for the whole gorram fall?"

"Umm, yeah, well, not 'all' the time, but when I really need to sleep, yeah."

Zoe shook her head. "I got some better ideas. I could spell you at the controls during this part and the last few days before the Hera approach, at least - heck, even Mal could do that much." I giggled slightly at that. "We'd have done as much for - for Wash, if he were still alive now and we were still trying this thing. You wouldn't have to be far - heck, we could set up a mattress in the doorway just outside of here if you don't want to be down in your bunk."

"Hmmm..." I considered that. "Okay, we'll try that - how about in an hour and a half or so? I'll probably be kind of tired by then."

Zoe laughed her rich deep laugh. "Good enough." Just before leaving she added, "Thanks, River."

And she was gone before I could decide to ask her what for.


	2. Chapter 2

(Inara.)

I stepped through the shuttle hatch and went down the cross passage, not sure what I was looking for, or if I was simply trying to look like I wasn't looking for Mal. The poor boy had probably gone down into his bunk to actually grab some sleep, something that it seemed neither of us would grab much of while we were together in private. Because of that, and because it would probably attract a lot of attention if I were actually seen slipping down his hatch, as it were, I headed out into the cargo bay and headed down the metal stairs to the bay floor. That didn't really make me feel any better. I wasn't honestly sure how much of the big shiny equipment stacked up there was weaponry of various sorts, and how much was power generators or industrial computers or whatever, but my mind couldn't help but play over scenes that I'd seen in war vids when I watched them. This stuff was going to Hera, the planet on which Serenity Valley lay, so that they could once again stand up and defy the will and might of what was left of the Alliance. The very thought sent a chill through me somehow.

And yet, after all that we'd seen, I could hardly say that it was wrong for someone, some world, to be strong enough to stand up. I slipped quickly out of the rear passage out of cargo, and made my way past the glass walls of the infirmary. Hmm. Nobody around, nobody anywhere in sight, actually. I hadn't been planning on this, but why waste a good opportunity? I slipped into the room, opened up the shiny new medical database that Simon had picked up on our last swing through Ariel, tapped out a particular query on Hera and a few other likely locations. How many times have I done this since he swiped this on his way out of Saint Lucy's, after the Feds had caught them? Nine times I guess, not really that many. I'd have brought it back to my shuttle, or implanted a wireless link into it, if I hadn't been worried about being discovered. Nobody would really have understood why I wanted this information so much, especially not Simon. It certainly wasn't what _he_ had picked it up for. Now that River was getting better, he didn't really need it for her sake, but I think that he'd gotten into the habit of consulting the databank on just about anything.

Okay, there were the results. Listening out for anyone approaching, I took a slim data pen out of the gown I was wearing and plugged it into the appropriate port for three seconds, and then wiped out every trace of what I had been doing - both in and on the database unit itself, and visibly around my person. Quick exit into the corridor again, up the stairs, not really looking where I was going - and who did I bump right into but Jayne. (Was so distracted that I couldn't even keep him from capping a quick squeeze in that moment of collision, or let him know that I knew it wasn't an 'accident'.) "Watch where you're going," I snapped, more or less out of habit.

To my surprise, Jayne Cobb didn't immediately react on the defensive and bring up the patently obvious fact that if there were somebody who hadn't been paying attention, it was me. Instead, he took a step back and flashed a surprisingly soulful smile for somebody who usually makes out like he could well not have one at all. "Listen, Inara, I'm sorry about... about that earlier this morning, what I said about - about the vid of the riots. Didn't rightly occur to me until you'd left what an a... well, how you might take the sort of things I'd been sayin' about the fightin' back there. Lord knows I been through enough scuffles in my life, but if it was my home village that people were tearin' apart, and killin' each other in..."

"I hate to break it to you, but listening to this apology is upsetting me nearly as much as the original offense," I said with a touch of frost in my voice. "Listen - I appreciate the sentiment, and frankly I wasn't really expecting any better behaviour from you, Jayne. You get off lucky that way."

He shrugged awkwardly. "Is, umm - is there anything I could do to take your mind off of it?"

I had to avoid snorting in response to that. Between stealing secret passion time with Mal, and the thrill of literally stealing data out of Simon's medical files, I hadn't thought about Sihnon or the riots in hours - until Jayne himself had brought the subject up again. "Not - not really offhand. Have - have you ever been to Hera yourself?"

"Can't say that I have, no." And Jayne let out a bit of a sigh. "Not quite sure if we'll get a job that's up my alley there, but maybe that's okay. Normally I got antsy just sitting on my duff without a way to let off steam, but something's been a bit different about that ever since... well, since Mister Universe's moon." I nodded back at him. "By the way, I been meanin' to say something about that."

"Yes?" What would this be?

"You handled yourself - and that Guild shooter contraption - real well against the Reavers and so on, when we all needed to count on each other, Inara. There was a moment there that it was only me an' you, holdin' the line, and I sort of feel like we have a bond because of that, I s'pose." He paused. "Of course, if River had made her move earlier, then maybe none of what the rest of us went through would have mattered for rat droppings, but..."

"Things had to unfold just right for her to realize what she was really capable of," I said slowly. "That's what I think, anyway. When she could see that she _had_ to act to keep her brother safe, and her extended metaphorical family as well, then she acted. Not before - and it was quite possible that somebody might have died before she got around to it." Thought about that a bit more. "And even once she dived through the blast doors, I don't think she was sure she could last against all of them Reavers - she was tryin' to get back inside, but they didn't let her."

"Yeah, I s'pose," Jayne admitted a bit vaguely.

"Well, getting back to something you were saying before, maybe there'll be some kind of tough work for you to get into on Hera - considering what the 'Verse is turning into."

"Just so long as they don't mean to be turnin' us all into soldiers," Jayne grumbled. "That may be Mal and Zoe's story, but it isn't mine, and I would leave if Mal tries to inveigle us all into the second Independent war."

"I don't think that's what he's got in mind," I admitted. "Maybe I'll need your help on Hera, actually. I've got an investigation assigned to me by the guild, and it sounds like a gig where I might need somebody tough and impressive to protect me while I ask questions."

"Hmm..." He thought about that. "This thing pay well?"

"The guild has always been more than willing to spend freely to protect the welfare of its members," I assured him. "I'm getting a hefty fee for looking into it, with bonuses for performance, and I'm sure that we can work out some sort of a cut."

"Alright, so how much do you know about the, um, the goal of the job?" Jayne asked, suddenly very interested. Hmm... I'd only thought of this because Mal **might** be too busy to tag along with me on Hera, but it'd be hard to get Jayne to give up his cut now. Well, maybe better off this way - it will keep the rest of the crew from thinking that Mal and I are inseparable since Boros, and Jayne might even be better for the job.

"There are two junior companions, Shaniss Wevell and Nonav Colrin, who haven't checked in with their home temple in two weeks," I said, leading the way to the break room. "The House mother got a letter from a small town judge six hundred miles away, saying that they were being held on suspicion for felony grand theft..."

#

Later in the evening, I was sitting up in the dining room, drinking a Xing Waoh Qeeq that I'd mixed up myself, using the last of Mal's Bao Mai, (he'd brought it over to the shuttle the day before,) and practicing some letter-brushing when Simon came in and sat at the foot of the dinner table. He didn't say anything for a long time, just made occasionally loud breathing noises. "Something on your mind, doctor?" I finally asked in quietly.

"Do - do you have much family back on Sihnon, Inara?"

"Umm..." Weird - it seemed like just yesterday when I was telling Mal about my family, how they'd contracted me into the guild so early that I could hardly remember them. But that was the sort of detail I didn't need to share with anyone but him - or maybe Kaylee, if she asked sweetly. "Nobody that I'm still very close to, if you mean blood kin."

"Right. What about friends, or colleagues?"

This time I thought of the few ladies who I'd truly thought of as kindred souls, back in Temple Madrassas. "Yeah, a few. Are you actually trying to make me upset here, doctor? Because you might need to try harder."

"Umm... sorry. That wasn't the... have you managed to make contact with anybody..."

"I was able to reach the switchboard at my old temple," I told him softly. "Nobody was there, and a very vague message put up for outsiders. But when I used my id number, I was able to get a more helpful recording with a few code phrases that would only mean anything to a trained Companion. Basically, the entire chapter was evacuated, and they've activated a signal to the temple computer to signify that they've all reached 'safety.'"

"Hmm." Simon seemed interested. "Any idea where they've gone? I mean, you don't need to say if it's something that shouldn't be told to an outsider, but I'm curious..."

"I have a few guesses, and they'll do with the telling here," I admitted. "Traveling through space would probably be too much of a risk immediately - but there are Guild-controlled retreats deep inside the countryside. Not really meant for this sort of thing, but they'll probably do okay if they went there. I've only been there once, for devotional training before I took my final vows."

"Okay, well, it's good to know that your friends are okay," Simon said, and sighed again. Finally something that should have been glaringly obvious to my trained people senses, if I'd really been paying any real attention to Simon, smacked me in the face.

"You've got bad news, about your parents, right Simon?"

"I guess it's pretty bad, yeah," he admitted. "Mother and Father are in protective custody with the Civil Security force, which I do find slightly ironic considering how much of a fit Father pitched when I found myself enjoying their hospitality. Mother will be released as soon as they're sure she won't be in danger from any misguided vigilantes, but Father - is being investigated and might have to face charges for his part in the Miranda Settlement project."

"His part in Miranda?" I exclaimed quietly, very shocked. "But... but what could he have possibly had to do with it? Is somebody framing him as a scapegoat?"

"I'm not sure," Simon said. "He does work with the terraforming commission, and before he went into administration he was renowned as a civil and mechanical engineer. Just the sort of person who might have worked out a scheme to distribute a chemical agent through the air and water of an entire world."

"But still... they should be placing the responsibility with those who made the final decisions to implement the Pax on Miranda, not some engineer who worked out the details... and left his name on the documentation in the Commission office."

"Yeah, well." Simon shrugged. "I'm a bit worried about him, but there's nothing that I can do to help, especially since we're on a course that is going to take us well past Osiris and to a planet that's soon going to declare itself an enemy. Not to mention the fact that if there's anybody still looking for River, they'd probably have an agent there by now, watching to see if either of us turn up for the trial. One way or another, Father got himself into this mess, and he's going to need to find some way out of it."

"I'm sure that he'll do just that," I said to Simon, and then realized a double meaning in what we just said. If Mister Tam got himself the death penalty, to take a worst-case scenario, that was 'a way' out of the mess that he was currently in, though not a promising or entirely un-messy one. "Okay, we need to talk about something else now."

"Sure," Simon said eagerly enough. "How are things going between you and our good captain?"

"Umm..." I certainly would never have expected Simon to be the one to ask straight out like that. "What makes you think that anything's going on between us?"

"Well, even though I'm still pretty clueless about this kind of thing, there are a few pieces of evidence that did present themselves," he said. "First off, you leave the ship for Paquin, after a truly remarkable series of shouting matches with Mal..."

"We weren't really arguing that much then," I argued. Or at least, that was the way it felt to me, that we'd gone past the point of fighting and just weren't saying much to each other at all.

Simon didn't offer a counterpoint. "That operative guy, when he wanted to find Mal, he went to _you_. And Mal came right to you once you sent him the wave, even though he knew that there was a trap waiting for him. Let's see, what else... right, Ares. It wasn't hard to figure out that Mal going with you wasn't just for keeping you safe - the two of you wanted to spend a little time together, maybe sort a few things out. And then the trip goes wrong, you crash land, have to walk cross country for days, and still haven't told us that much about what went on there."

"And you think that I'll tell you now?" Simon shrugged slightly. "Honestly, Simon - I'd sort of like to confide in you - but if I did, would you share what you'd learned with your new girlfriend?"

"Umm... probably yes."

"And Kaylee's a very good friend of mine. If I wanted her to know, then I'd have told her myself. Unfortunately, there are a few secrets that I just know Kaylee can't keep, and I really don't want the whole ship to know what I'm up to this time."

"Hmm... fair enough," he admitted. "Well, it was worth a try."

"Yeah. How about doing something else?" I pushed away the sheet of paper, which I hadn't added to since just after the conversation opened, and stuck the ink brush into the water pot. A few drops of ink had fallen onto the table, and I worried for a moment that they would stain, but all of the dark color came away when I wiped at them with a soft cloth. "Do you play Xiangqi? I found a great little board in the Boros Capital City - been wandering around ever since leaving the school with a set of antique pieces but nothing to play them on."

"Xiangqi?" Simon repeated, as if he could hardly believe his ears for the excitement. "I... I feel I must give you fair warning. I am **amazingly** good at Xiangqi. Even after I finished my internship and was a year into my residency, my name was whispered and feared where the Xiangqi team met and practiced at my old med school."

"Oh, lord." I deliberately rolled my eyes. "Well, you're still better to play against than nobody. Maybe I'll pick up a few good strategy tips." As I left to get the board and the flat circular pieces, I still gave myself at least a forty percent chance of beating Doctor Arrogant, since I had a few special weapons up my sleeve that I didn't think he'd be expecting.

#

(Kaylee.)

"Hello there," I said to the boy as he pored over his game board full of tiny flattened white and black marbles. "Sorry to bother you, but you and the battleground are both right on top of the hatch that I need to open up right now."

"Oh? Oh, of course, Miss," he said, picking the board up and carefully setting it back down off to the side, well clear of the hatch outline that could be seen on the floor. Then he picked up the marble bags in each hand, rising to his feet and backing out of the way himself. "Mind if I ask what you're going to do inside there?"

"Hmm... a bit of an unusual question, but I'll allow it," I joked, working the latch release and pulling the flat section of floor up and around on its hinges. "We're pushing the engines hard on this burn, and the pilot says that the engine is responding a bit hesitantly, so I thought I'd add a little bit of a cleanser to the main fuel lines. If we weren't committed to the slot, I'd ask for her to go newt-one, and then I could clean the lines by hand, but this'll do just as well in a pinch." Suiting action to word, I jumped down amid the exposed metal and plastic guts under the hatch and started to look for the right spot to drip something into the line. "You're Derek, right?"

"Yes, and you would be Kaylee?" I made an uh-huh noise. "River - mentioned you back on Boros, but the details weren't quite accurate..."

"Yeah, I remember," I said. The first time Derek saw River and I on the ship, he asked if I were her sister-in-law, which was definitely a bit of a shocker, though it's not quite an unpleasant notion. Bunkin' in with Simon was enough of a big step, though, and I don't think that either of us will be wanting to make it official for a good long while. "So, mind if I ask you a question this time?" I asked. Had found the drip feed by this point, and extracted the tiny vial of cleanser out of a pocket on the shoulder of my coveralls. Good thing a little bit of this stuff goes a long way.

"Oh, sure."

"Just what are you doing on this trip? I mean, I guess I was around your age when I up and shipped out on Serenity - I loved the look of her at first sight - great engines, and I wanted to see more of the 'Verse. But still, I missed my folks something fierce at first. Kinda still do. What's your story?"

"Hmm... well, the long one, with all of the family history and so on, could take a while to tell," he admitted. "But the short answer of why I'm going to Hera with a war on - they say that I'm some kind of prodigy with unconventional strategies, and so I'm going there in case my gift... comes in handy, I suppose. For the Independents."

"Hmm." I finished off the cleanser drip and considered that. "And that's why you're playing Go? Just keeping the prodigies sharp?"

"Something like that I suppose. I'm a big champion Go player, though I try not to get a swelled head about it or anything. Just sort of comes naturally. Playing both sides myself is never interesting of course."

"Just how much of a big champion? Like, in the top five players on Boros?"

"Definitely far and away the best, unless there's one who I haven't played," he said offhandedly. "I've done a few long distance matches against players on other planets who I'd say were more in my class, though it's harder to tell with the wave delays than playing against someone in the same room. The interesting thing is playing against AIVAS computer systems. They've got computer Go routines that can beat most human grandmasters now, and I played one of them in a series last winter. Beat it seven games out of twelve."

"Not bad," I admitted, going over to him - he'd sat back down with the board by this point. "Black on T twenty-four, down there."

"Hmm... really?" He made the move as I'd called it, and blinked in surprise as he saw how it changed the situation. "Interesting choice."

"Thanks," I said. "But just because you're good at games and stuff, why does anybody think that that gift will translate to interplanetary politics or war or anything?"

"I'm not too clear on that myself," he said. "There were a lot of people back home who would talk about it in terms of the adaptability of my cognitive processes - but it has to do with my style of play, and the fact that I never really learned traditional Go strategy, and a few other things that they worked out giving me tests and puzzles. The one thing that none of them could do for me, though, is teach me the rules that I'll need to know for treating the real world like a game. As soon as I learn the rules of a game, that's all it takes to start working out strategies, but..."

"Hmm... maybe you should talk to some of the crew," I said, trying not to smile too big. "Like the captain, and Zoe our first mate, and... and Mister Cobb. They're pretty good with the rules of some of the tougher parts of life, though I'm not sure how well they'll be able to explain them in your terms."

"Hmm... do you want to, I don't know, introduce me or something?" He set the board carefully aside somewhere that it wasn't likely to be tripped on or stepped in, and stood up again. "I mean, all three of those people - pretty much scare me."

"Well, you don't really need to be skeered of the Captain, or of Zoe most of the time." He shot a look as if wondering if I would comment on Jayne. I could have tried to figure out something clever, but didn't bother. "Let's go, no time like the present."

He came along, and it wasn't hard to figure out from the way noise was bouncin' around that something was happening in the dining room. This turned out to be a fast-paced and bitterly waged game of Chinese chess, (Xiangqi, I think, is the proper word for it,) between Inara and Simon. Mal and Zoe were both sitting at the table and watching eagerly, Mal sitting on the same side as Inara but not right next to her, and Zoe standing. I hurried over to sit next to my man. "Who crossed the river?" someone called out from forward - it was our own River, of course. Maybe she'd been trying to keep track of the game play with her mind, and the two of us showin' up mucked that up, I'm not sure. The 'river' that she had mentioned, of course, was not really a reference to her own name, but the line halfway across a Chinese chess board, which figures into the play a few ways, though when I tried to learn the game I was always a bit confused at why the foot soldiers got _stronger_ by crossing a river, instead of maybe weaker. Oh well.

"Mei mei, I can't keep giving you a play by play," Simon called back, with something in his voice as if this wasn't the first time she'd asked a question like that. "It... oh, Inara, I do like this board, it has a lot of character, but I'd give a great deal for a computer sensing system so that River could throw up the action on one of the cockpit screens. Or even just record all of the moves for later."

"Maybe you'd better be concentrating on where we're going, instead of the Xiangqi, little one!" Mal called back towards the forward corridor.

"Mal, there's nothing we could possibly hit for at least another fifteen minutes. I'll check again in eleven."

"Interesting use of your advisors and your ministers, Miss Sera," Derek said to Inara. "Did you learn the minister's dilemma from someone in the high society or civic executive of Sihnon?"

"How - how could you tell?" she said, blinking in surprise.

"I thought you said that you didn't learn the theory and the established strategy," I said. Of course, I didn't know the minister's dilemma from my little pinkie finger, but it sounded like something that somebody who thought they were being very clever might name a particular move in a game like this.

"Not in Go," he said. "Or at least, not until very recently. With Xiangqi, a friend of my fathers wanted to see how it would affect my play style if I crammed on all of the available texts and theory before I tried playing myself. I don't think it worked terribly well - I'm okay, but not really world-class. On the other hand, I seem to have the weirdest tendency to make a game out of analyzing somebody else's style of play. Simon, you learned the basics from an adult when you were growing up - not your father I think, and really got serious when matching against other boys your age when you were eight or nine. Was there a lunchtime Xiangqi club at your school or something?"

"By the way, Mal," I put in, "Derek wants to talk to you about something that could help the Independents on Hera, and so on. About the rules of life - war and crime and that sort of thing."

"Talk to me?" Mal repeated a bit blankly. The play proper had stopped, with Inara and Simon both a bit surprised at what Derek had been saying.

"Derek, are you down there?" River hollered. "What is going on?"

"Nothing for you to worry about," I called back, trying to be helpful. "Go Simon! You're doing well... I think."

"I had better be," he muttered grumpily. "She's ahead by two games to one." He glared across the table at Inara. "I underestimated you the first time, I know it, but I won't make that mistake again."

"Oh." I hadn't realized that this wasn't the first match that they'd played. "Mal, any notion of how far they'll take this thing if we let them?"

"Wait a second," Mal shook his head, and pointed to Derek. "What do you mean about the rules of war and crime?"

"Just, the way stuff happens out here in the big wild 'Verse," I said. "Or maybe not here, if we're flying in towards the core already. Back where we came from, and where we're goin' to."

"You didn't grow up in the big wild 'verse?" Zoe asked Derek.

"Not... not really what I'm asking for," he mumbled. "I mean, I've lived in the real world, sure, but kind of a sheltered life still, with nice parents who've tried to keep me from violence or scheming..."

"How horrible for you..."

"Listen, can anybody talking about the rules of crime please go elsewhere?" Simon burst out. "It doesn't help my concentration here?"

"Sorry, I'll be quiet," Derek said. I looked up, and it was clear that even though we'd come looking for Mal and Zoe, (and Jayne,) to talk to, he was much more interested in watching the play of the chess board. Zoe seemed to me easily the least interested of all the people in the room, and I wondered if she'd leave, but didn't. A very heavy silence fell around all of us as Simon tried a desperate assault on Inara's castle, was turned back, and then struggled to defend his own general against an attack from Inara's chariot.

"Somebody could say something, you don't all have to sit silently and watch us," Inara mumbled casually as she moved her cannon up to support.

"Alright," Mal said, smiling and stretching out slightly. "My guess is that they'll probably keep it up until one person has a lead of two games. However long that takes."

#

"C'mon sweetie, try not to let it get you down or anything," I said later, slipping out of my coveralls down in our bunk. "I... I know that your med school rep was important to you, but Inara is just really good at things like this, and she's probably spent more time studying Xiangqi recently than you have. It fits into her line of work much better than yours, after all."

"Well, I suppose that depends on how you look at it," he muttered. "To me, a game like Xiangqi is a way to keep my brain sharp, to practice the sort of deductive and pattern-based thinking that is critical when I'm trying to identify a mysterious disease or determine the best way of saving somebody's life through surgery. For a companion - it's something that she can do to wile away the time with a paying client when they're tired of... other activities. Yeah, I get your point. Though I wouldn't have thought it would be so important that she be _good_ at playing, just willing to keep at it..."

"So she should just sit there and let the client beat her again and again so that he'd feel better?" I scoffed. "I don't think you appreciate what some of her business is like. Most of her favourites - they're not interested in some brainless little playtoy, they actually value the company of somebody with a keen mind to spend time with." And I shot him my best dangerously cute look. "Don't you think that it's better to be with somebody smart, somebody who won't humour you all the time?"

"Umm, err -" He seemed to struggle for options a moment, and then gave up. "Yes, of course, definitely."

"Good answer." I nestled close to him, my chest pressing against Simon's, and gave him a slow, tender kiss. "Are you cheered up now?"

"Humm - maybe I need just a little bit more good cheer spread around," he muttered, a playful smile on his face. I shook my head slightly, and then pushed him down on the bunk, landing on top of him. "Who's an eager kitten? I haven't even taken my shorts off yet."

"Leave that to me," I said, and proceeded to strip off all the clothes from him and I about as quickly as I could - which actually had some funny bits, because I did indeed get 'too eager' and nearly yanked one of the sleeves of his t-shirt off. But the awkwardness of that was easily passed by, and soon we were happily involved in the usual preliminaries of exploring each other's bodies and revving up for the main event.

Simon was 'going down to Londinium,' (and **very** good at it - that boy's fingers aren't the only parts of his body that know their way around... well, a woman's body I guess...) anyway, he was really getting into it, letting his hands clench into my bottom end, not too hard but just kind of a comfortable grip, and everything was feeling amazing, and I'm still not quite sure what came over me. Breath coming in gasps, I gasped out, "Tell me we're forever."

He didn't let it faze him immediately, but when I realized what I had said and apologized, he backed off and started to play with my upper front while trying to get his composure back. "Umm... okay, first off, is there anything you'd like to tell me about, well, about that sort of thing in general. I mean, I think I have a tendency to blurt out stuff like that in the middle of - of making love, or similar activities myself, and no matter how unfortunate the timing or how unlikely it might be that I'd say the same thing in any different situation, I mean what I say, well, almost always, and I would want you to treat it seriously, if considerately. On the other hand, if you have a tendency to say weird stuff in the middle and you'd _want_ me to not pay attention or, I don't know, to just joke around..."

"I - umm, I'm really not sure," I said, reaching up to stroke Simon's neck, and letting my fingers trail down the sparse manly hairs on his chest. "It - well, it's not something that **has** happened to me before when I've been with a guy, and, well, considering that there've been a number of opportunities..."

"That's alright," he said. "I like... being in uncharted territory, making you say something that no other 'guy' ever has." And he kissed me, (which was fun if a bit odd, tasting my own scent in his lips,) and proceeded to mount up on me and start the real action without another comment. We were both still really ready for it, the slight strangeness not having made a dent in our eagerness, and I screamed out so loudly that I was worried that everybody else on the ship was going to start pounding on the hatch for us to keep it down.

"Okay, here's mine, just for this one," I said after it was all over. "I... that was something that I felt, and feel, but you don't have to say anything in response if you don't want to..."

"I, I feel the same way," Simon whispered into my ear. "I'm not sure that I can promise you forever, but I'm hoping for it too."

That thought made me smile. "Also, if I ever say somebody else's name when I'm with you, then I'm joking, one hundred percent, and you don't have to pay any attention to it."

He stared for a moment, and then burst out laughing, grabbing a pillow and smacking me playfully with it. "Can I get in on that clause too? Not that I expect it to happen, but since I've managed to find some way to make _every_ other mistake in the book with respect to you, then..."

"Don't worry about it," I told him seriously. "Just stay there and let me lie against you."

"Oh certainly, no problem with that," he said. "It's great for me too."

#

(Mal.)

"Captain, maybe you'd better come up here." The words somehow managed to cut through a very nice dream, leaving me frustrated and sprawled out on my mattress, hips bucking a bit against the fabric by habit. "Somebody is sending a signal at us."

"Huh, River?" I managed to say. Of course, there wasn't likely to be anybody else at the controls getting a transmission at this point, but it wasn't something that I was used to since Wash's death. "Yeah, umm, just a moment." I threw on some clothes, reminded of the message from Inara that had led us over to the training house so that he could 'rescue' her from the Alliance Operative. "Okay, patch them through down here."

A stern older lady's face popped up onto the screen opposite my bed - framed by the blue and purple fabric of an alliance uniform at her collar and shoulders. Not that the uniform meant quite so much these days, but I was still far from eager to see it. "Hello, Captain Mal Reynolds of 'Serenity' speaking. How could I help?"

"Captain Reynolds. Your ship is entering a marked out convoy zone at unacceptably high speeds and a dangerous heading. You are hereby directed to burn hard away from the sun and in an ecliptic-spinward direction to avoid causing a serious accident. I am forwarding the specific course information to your pilot."

"Huh? Now wait a second." I knew what this meant even without seeing the course data. "We are on a very important courier mission, Officer whatever-the-hell-your-name-is, and cannot deviate far from course without losing our schedule. In any event, we certainly cannot assume a more traditional course without getting stranded, out of fuel in deep space. You have no authority, no right to dictate how a man like me can fly his ship, not any more. The Alliance is crumbling, and even before that started, you people never owned deep space."

"My apologies, Reynolds. In my **haste** to save innocent people making their way from Ariel to Beaumonde in cobbled-together escape ships, I have neglected the formalities," the old woman said, stiffly formal. "My name is Guinevere Roberts, Senior Commander of the sixth fleet, and I have been deputized with wide-reaching powers in this field of space because of the exigencies of the political situation." Then all trace of formality was gone, and she had murder in her eyes. "In other words, do _not_ try my patience, Captain. I have the authority because somebody needs to take charge for the common good. If you do not comply, I will have you shot out of space."

"Wouldn't that just **increase** the danger to your poor refugees?" I muttered, and got a glare for my troubles. "Look, I see that the protected zone is marked out on your little diagram. We should be able to adjust course enough to give it a wide clearing and still make our trip and schedule. That is as _much_ as I can tell you, and if you want to start a fight over it..." I trailed off, uncertain if I could make a threat that wasn't a bluff in this situation.

"Captain Mal, you are _trying_ my patience," Guinevere muttered, and the camera at her end zoomed out dramatically, showing the control board that she was sitting in front of, and letting her hover her finger over a big red button - the kind that people liked to tie into launching missiles. "If you do this, then you're not a pain in my own side directly, but what am I to think of you go and crash into somebody else's ship two million miles on?"

"We're not going to crash into anybody," Mal said evenly. "This ship might not look like much, but it's dependable, and my pilot knows her stuff."

"Alright. Then I suppose I will take a flyer on trusting you rather than going to the trouble of... well, I don't even have the time to get into everything I'd have to do if I wanted to make sure that you wouldn't be a danger to anybody. Would it be fair to say that you owe me a favour, Reynolds?"

"Hmm." Wasn't quite sure I saw it the same way, but this was the sort of situation where Inara would say a little diplomacy didn't hurt much. "Not sure if we'll cross paths again for you to collect on that favour, but..."

"Here's how we're going to play it, Reynolds," she continued. "You get your pilot to make that course correction good and quick, because she doesn't have much time, and you scribble off a John Doe and feed it into the comm system. You do have a visual scanner rigged into that, yes? Good. I'll take the printout over here and use that as your marker. I'm free to give or sell that, as I so choose, and if I find that you caused any kind of a crash on this 'courier run' of yours, anybody who happens to survive from your ship..."

"Yeah, I get the picture," I mumbled. "No fair copying the marker - this is **one** favour debt and no more." With that, I took the opportunity to leave Guinevere by scrambling up the hatch of my bunk and hurrying over to the cockpit. River confirmed that Serenity would be flying clear of the convoy zone, and feeling very foolish, I scribbled a signature on some scrap paper, (actually it was a printout with some figures on our course on it,) and transmitted that over to the Alliance ship. By the time the facsimile machine binged to report that the message had been confirm-received, we had already passed both ship and convoy zone, zooming past.

"I hope I'll be able to say that it was nice meeting you, Reynolds. Good flying, Serenity," came the commander's parting shot. With a soft groan, I decided to not even try a comeback and count my blessings that things hadn't gone any worse.

"You did the right thing, Mal," River whispered softly from the pilot's chair. "Know how you hate to do what somebody in a purple uniform tells you to, but - she wasn't entirely wrong. It's a risky thing that we're doing, especially at a time like this." She sighed. "And since it was my brilliant idea that partly got us into this in the first place, I'll help you redeem that marker if I can."

"Alright, we'll see," I said.

"Maybe you should go and poke your head into Inara's shuttle." River giggled softly. "If she's still sleeping, you can probably think up a fun way to wake her."

Oh, lordy. "Listen, if - if you've figured out anything about - about Inara and I, you have to keep it quiet for now."

"Come on, Kaylee would **love** to hear news like this!" River singsonged back quietly.

"Yes, but... but Inara doesn't want the whole ship to know, at least not yet - and if Kaylee gets told, you **know** that's going to happen very soon. I love that girl dearly, but a keeper of secrets she is not." I sighed. "Inara probably won't be jumping for joy that you've figured it out, though I suppose it was asking too much for either of us to keep it secret from you for long. But you can't tell anybody else yet, and not without my permission - got it?"

"Yes, captain, I understand." I sighed and headed off, wondering whether I really should visit Inara's shuttle once again. "And for the record - I think I was only guessing, until you told me. Heck of a way to keep the secret yourself, Captain."

I growled softly at her and headed for the port shuttle hatch.


	3. Chapter 3

(Zoe.)

I got up early on ship's time that morning, around 0450 hours. Hadn't gotten to the bunk terribly early, what with watching the big Xiangqi match-off between the doctor and Inara, but - well, I don't seem to get much sleep lately anyways. Not like I'm plagued with nightmares, though I guess sometimes that moment when my man was ripped away from me replays across my closed eyes as I lie down and try to get some rest...

I guess, (and I'm only even mentioning this sort of thing because I know that you'd _never_ repeat it on me, right? I know that you're a friend of the Captain's, so I guess that you sort of inherit the trust that I'd put in him...) that I wonder sometimes if it was better this way or not. I mean, that it was so quick when Wash was taken from me, just a blink and he was... well. Think about if when the moment came, it were something that I could have saved him from, only if he still died, that would mean that I hadn't been strong enough, or quick enough, or smart enough. Would I just feel worse that I'd failed him, or would it be some comfort that I'd at least had a fair shot. Or one of those things that you can see coming, have time to say your goodbyes, but could never possibly stop, like a gut wound or an un-treatable cancer...

Back when I was in the army, it was easier to accept the notion of losing people. I'd known from the first day that I signed up that my comrades in arms would die, and that I stood a good chance of buying the farm while wearing a uniform and carrying army issue hardware my own self. Guess I didn't let many of those people get under my skin, though the captain and Tracey are exceptions. You can't keep yourself from having other people matter to you, is the long run of it, and when I realized how much the crew of Serenity mattered, especially my husband, then I started to dedicate my life to protecting them all, with the kind of dedication I used to reserve for the forces.

But you can't keep people in this Verse by being single-minded about it either, I guess. If nothing else, the Reaper is sneaky, and he's going to steal the souls you love out from under you if he can't do it any other way... but I guess I sort of got off onto a side track, now didn't I? Not even sure what got me talking about this stuff.

So I got up early, yeah, that was it, and did another inspection of the cargo just because we couldn't afford to have anything go wrong with that dangerous sort of stuff on a high acceleration, high speed course through the center of the 'Verse. Nothing was at all amiss, the engine was running great after whatever Kaylee did to tune it up yester evening, and River assured me that she was still alert and in tip-top shape for piloting. Nothing else to do but go to the kitchen and have breakfast, and I was nearly finished my bowl of protein meal when Inara came in. "Morning, Zoe."

I had to smile. "Good morning yourself. Thanks for the action last night."

"Oh, hey, no need to thank me." For the final game of Xiangqi, Simon had wanted to put money down on the game, and Inara had refused to take the bet, so I'd backed her play against Simon's - and come ahead by twenty square, which was more cash than I knew what I'd do with, even when we got back to Hera. (I didn't feel much guilt over taking Simon's money, since I'd heard about the savings that he'd collected back on Boros, and the spending spree he'd taken Kaylee on.)

"Alright then." There was a pause as Inara filled up a kettle with distilled water and put it on the heater circuit - probably for making one of her fruit-infused teas, and then started to sort among the other food supplies that we'd gotten before leaving Boros - nothing particularly fresh was left already. "So, I hear that you'll have work on Hera, for the Guild,"

"Yes, actually... what, did Jayne spread the news already?"

"Well, yeah. Was he not supposed to?" Inara shrugged. "If you could happen to need someone with my skills, don't hesitate to ask..."

"And offer a fair cut of the fee?" Inara put in, and I nodded agreeably. "Thank you, but - well, I'm feeling like I shouldn't have even mentioned it to Jayne before asking the captain."

"Oh, I see." I considered for only a moment. "Then I haven't heard a word about any Guild work."

"Well, thanks I suppose." She started to sprinkle the tea mix into her mug, and poured the water into it just a few seconds after the kettle let out its whistle. "Would you mind if I turned the Cortex news on in here? A little worried about what might have started next, so... I'd rather hear it with some moral support around."

"Go ahead - or I'll do it, if you like, since you're stirring your tea." Finished the bowl of cereal with a very final gesture.

"Thanks." So I got up from the table, over to the cortex terminal on the wall, and easily found an audio-only Verse news feed out of Sihnon. It tuned in mid-sentence as usual, something about nobody knowing quite what to make of Snyder or the statement. "Who's Snyder?" I asked.

Inara shushed me, and I realized that they were starting to play a recorded segment. "Like all of you, I have been saddened and disillusioned by the events of the past two weeks, by the exposed misdeeds of the leaders in whom we had placed so much faith and trust. I am saddened too, though more tolerant, when I hear that the planet Boros has chosen once again to go its own way, to be Independent of the rest of the 'Verse through which it travels, to make its own decisions without concern for the good of other planets."

"That's not what they're doing," I muttered angrily, but Inara held up a hand again.

"...as great as the real need for change, for reform, may be, there is still a need for Unity - a consideration that was fundamental to the founding of the Alliance, and to its establishment as the single government of the entire 'Verse, even out to the farthest border moon. As I continued to search my soul, it seemed clear to me that if no-one else would rise and sound the call for unity through reform, for the institution of a stronger and healthier Alliance, then I would take it upon myself..."

"Who the hell **is** this guy?" I asked, drowning out the voice. "Sorry, Inara - I'll work on finding another copy of this that you can listen to later if you want..."

"No, that's okay, I've gotten the main gist," she said. "He's probably a continental or regional executive one level below the planetary administration, on a planet that's Core but not too central - Ariel, or maybe Osiris. Far enough from the Parliament to escape suspicion, but with enough political experience and credibility to think that he could pull this off."

I stared at her in disbelief. "How did you work that all out so quickly?" I muttered weakly.

"I didn't," she admitted. "One of my... superiors in the Guild mentioned the possibility, in the event of great unrest on the central core worlds."

"You mean, they mentioned that there might be... the kind of stuff we've been hearing about? The riots on Sihnon and fighting on Londinium? But... but then why..." I trailed off; had been about to ask why Inara had been so upset when the news had broken, but it seemed too obvious that just hearing about the theoretical possibility hadn't prepared her for the news in her heart.

At that point, the speech stopped replaying on the Cortex and somebody - a commentator that we'd heard before - started commenting again. "Reaction to Robert Snyder's proclamation has been hard to evaluate under the circumstances, but out of those who actually responded to an opinion poll, his approval rating is high on Londinium and Sihnon - between seventy and seventy-five percent. Ariel and Osiris are even more solidly behind him. This message has also been received with a slimmer majority acceptance in the very distant border worlds and moons. The places that seem least likely to accept membership in a reformed Alliance are the in-between places - border planets caught between the Core and the far reaches, between urban civilization and the rough wild, like Beaumonde, Persephone, and Hera. Also Boros, as one might expect, is still high on Independent fever and has reacted to Snyder's reform alliance proposal with a collective snort."

"Thank you, Rupert," someone else on the talk show asked the first person. "And this leads into the question probably on the minds of all our listeners - are we headed towards another Verse-wide civil war? Are the sides starting to line up already?"

"The situation doesn't seem to be heading that way so far, Delia. Snyder has made sure to stress in his two speeches so far that he's calling for peace, not for war - that he wants to see a ceasefire declared on Londinium and a quick end to the riots in Sihnon great city - and though it wasn't so simple, his authority seems to be improving both situations. He's also stated that he wouldn't authorize fleet subjugation or annexation of Boros or any world that chooses against membership in the new Alliance by popular vote of its inhabitants."

"Hmm... well, maybe he's a cut above the usual Alliance scumbag we have to deal with," I muttered grudgingly. Any notion that there was going to be some sort of a strong Alliance surviving this thing wasn't particularly welcome, but if it was going to be one that was doing its best to avoid the arrogance that we knew, and was willing to live and let live with those confident enough to step out on their own...

"You're listening to the news?" Hasati said, hesitating in the doorway to the dining room.

"Yes, come in if you like," Inara replied. "That is, assuming that you don't mind Zoe."

"No, it's alright," I insisted. "Have you heard any of it yourself?"

"Not really 'heard' - I saw a very brief digest of recent developments when I awoke."

"Alright," Inara said, and for a moment we listened to the recap as Hasati collected himself some canned fruit for his breakfast. "So, just what is your job going to be when we get to Hera?"

"Probably... trying to get in touch with this Snyder and establishing the terms of co-existence, really," he said. "That would seem to be the job of a top diplomatic negotiator under the circumstances. He's probably sincere when he says that he doesn't want war with Independents all over again, but if so that's just a minor point of what our relationship with the Alliance would _not_ be."

"Like a trade treaty," I guessed. "Hera's pretty self-sufficient, but no planet is an island. Free trade with other independent worlds and willing Alliance citizens would be a great asset to the whole deal - and a blockade of any sort would be nearly as bad as outright hostilities."

He nodded. "Free movement of trade goods, and easy visas for Heran citizens wishing to travel to the Alliance, yes, those are some of the most obvious considerations..."

#

(Simon.)

"Sorry, sweetie, but I have to tell you," Kaylee pointed out. "No matter how long you keep me blindfolded and keep spinning me about, you're not going to really establish a sense of mystery about where you're taking me. I... I know this ship too well. We're in the rear common area, not too far from the passenger quarters. Can I take this thing off now?"

I sighed softly. "Not until we get there... but it's close, and I guess I'll stop with the twirling you about routine."

"We're close?" That managed to put a note of puzzled wonder in her voice, which I had to smile at. Standing behind her, I 'led' the way around the common area, up a few stairs, and through a door which I then pulled shut and locked behind me. Kaylee took the opportunity to pull off the kerchief that I'd been using to blindfold her. "Okay, why did you make such a fuss out of taking me to the Infirmary? Ohh..."

"Not the most traditional locale for a romantic picnic lunch," I admitted, sitting down on the tablecloth that I'd spread on the floor between the surgical table and the mesonic scanner, next to the picnic basket that she'd caught sight of first, and stretching up my hand towards hers, "but it was about the best I could think of here on board ship. Our bunk doesn't really have as large a flat stretch of floor, and just about anywhere else we'd probably get interrupted."

"Hmm." Kaylee shot one look at the locked door before taking my hand and crouching next to me. "What if somebody starts bangin' on the door to be let in?"

"Hmm... well, I guess we'll have to take our chances - like the risk of an outdoor picnic getting rained out," I said philosophically. "Is it really likely that somebody would get badly hurt in the next two or three hours?"

"No, probably not," she admitted, and then smiled. "And what if Jayne needs some surgical tape?"

I had to grin back. "Not a chance. There isn't anybody here aboard ship that he needs to hide his weapons from."

"Well, that's true enough." Then Kaylee focused on something else. "So, what have you got in the basket anyway?" Her eyes narrowed a bit. "You been stockpiling decent food away from me?"

"Well, if I never hid anything from you, then how would I be able to pull romantic surprises?" I asked as ingenuously as I could manage. Once again, Kaylee nodded in acceptance of what I'd just said, opened up the basket, and started to riffle through it. Idly she started to ask something, and then clamped her mouth shut.

"What is it?" I asked. No response. "Would it help if I promised not to get mad?"

"Maybe," she admitted. Pause. "Okay, I was going to ask... where the awkward and romantically inept young man that I remember vanished to? The guy who pissed me off so mightily on Higgins' moon and listed the fact that I was all he had left among my best qualities in a romantic dark corner..."

"Hey, it wasn't that romantic if you counted the foetus, and I was trying to make the best of my opportunities," I laughed. "Do you regret that I've got my act together a bit better?"

"No, no," she hurriedly insisted. "Just - well, wondered a bit."

"Maybe I realized after we finally got together that I couldn't afford such stupid mistakes," I said softly. "I've always been pretty good at figuring out where I took a wrong move, especially if I can focus on it with all my attention."

"Oh, okay." She smiled, smeared some paste onto a cracker, and offered it to me - popped it into my open mouth herself, and giggled. "So, does this difference, too, come down to River? Now that you don't have to worry about her and hover over her, you can spend more time and attention on me?"

I couldn't answer that one immediately on account of having my mouth full, and nearly choked a little bit, but maybe it was good that the circumstances forced me to think over my reply. "I... I guess that that was part of it, actually. I can't deny that she was my first priority in that period from when I first came aboard this ship, until... very recently. Not that she isn't still important, but... not a nearly all-consuming focus anymore. She's starting to spread her wings and take care of herself now, and that's great."

"Yeah, it is," Kaylee agreed. "So, what now?"

"Well, there's this," I said, leaning forward and kissing her with all of the love I felt. We kept messing around for a little while, and then got back to feeding each other choice delicacies from the basket and talking about the little things that mean so much. In fact, I'd started to feel like the whole world 'verse was this little room, when outside reality interrupted. Not with a bang on the door, as it happened, but the crackle of a comm unit on the counter and a strident announcement.

"Kay Lee Frye, wherever you may be on this gorram boat you'd better hop to and get your **bei** to the cockpit!"

It was Mal who'd spoken, of course, (I don't think that anybody else would have put it quite that way,) and I guess I was a bit upset at the attitude that had come with the line, if not the command itself. So I got straight up and hit the button that would connect me to wherever Mal's voice had come from. "Come on, Mal, what's the big rush? We're having a moment here, and it's not like..."

"Simon," Kaylee said warningly, getting up herself and starting to unlock the door. All of a sudden I started to get an idea of the sort of things that might really require the immediate attention of the engineer on a trip like this.

"The **big rush**," Mal's voice informed me icily, "is that your little sister is worried about the forward radar sensor not giving her accurate enough readings for the impressive feat of piloting that she has committed herself to, and which all of our lives are on the line for. Get Kaylee..."

"She's already long gone, Mal," I put in, getting a bit of odd enjoyment out of being able to tell him that at least. "Should be arriving in just another minute or so."

"Oh, well, okay. Glad that somebody respects my authority around here," Mal mumbled, and then the speaker fell silent. I shrugged to myself, grabbed some rice bar treats out of the basket, and headed forward in the ship myself. Might as well find out what was going on, and nobody was about to broadcast more of it over the intercom for my benefit, it seemed.

By the time I was heading up through the forward hall and saw Kaylee, River, Mal, and Zoe all conferring in and around the cockpit. I got there just in time to see Kaylee open up some hatch in the ceiling of the cockpit that I had **never** noticed was there before, and Mal gave her a boost to crawl up and through - or at least partly through, because her legs stayed hanging down through the opening.

"Hey, what's going on?" I felt compelled to ask. "And what's up there?"

"It's the sensor melon of the ship," Zoe informed me brusquely. "The main eyes and ears of Serenity, as it were. And Kaylee, obviously, is going to have a look, because something is wrong with..."

"With the forward radar," I repeated the words that Mal had said earlier over the comm. "How serious is this?"

"The images of debris and micro-planetoids that I'm getting are fuzzy where they should be sharp," River complained. "Without that clarity, I can't be sure of which ones we need to change course to avoid or how. I don't think it's an immediate disaster, but whatever's wrong _needs_ to get fixed as soon as possible. I'm pretty sure I can't complete the trip to Hera without getting us hull-breached if things continue on like this."

Mal and Zoe took a deep breath. "I think I know this, but - is there any way that we could abort the full trip on the fuel that we have and still make port?" Zoe asked.

"Let me see," River said doubtfully, pulling up a few orbital mechanic diagrams and drawing curves onto them. "Landing on Londinium is just about possible - it's not far from our projected path and traveling in the same direction - so we'd mostly just have to break hard. But - I'm not sure it'd be that much safer a course. We have to go through a few debris fields and areas of in-system traffic just to get that far, and it's surrounded by the densest cloud of artificial satellites in the 'Verse."

"Plus, probably not the safest place for us to try and get a repair job done once we've landed," Mal said. "Kaylee, do you know anything yet?"

I realized with surprise that by this point most of my beloved's legs had followed her up into the 'melon.' "Not so shiny, captain. I've confirmed that the radar signal isn't at optimal focus and resolution, but it doesn't seem to be happening anywhere that I can reach from here, so I can't fix it inside."

"What?" I stood there, stunned by the implications, as Kaylee emerged from the hatch and jumped down into my arms, (and I wasn't quite prepared to catch her under the circumstances and stumbled. "So... so are you going to fix it _outside_?"

"Is that doable?" Mal asked in his all-business tone.

"Won't know for sure until I get out an' take a look, but I imagine so, Captain," she reported brightly. "The forward radar receiver is a button on Serenity's nose, just about... down there." She pointed down below the forward-facing windows in the cockpit. "Gets the echo of the radar signal sent out by the emitter in the melon - I checked that's working fine by the way - and runs it up a braided wire..." She traced a line along the divider between the two windows, "up into the melon again, and then down to the pilot and co-pilot's stations. I can carry just about any tool or supplies I need to fix the button or the wire in suit pockets, including spare braid."

And there it was. Suit pockets, as in a space suit. Now, I realize that my own feelings about space suits are a little irrational, bordering on the mild phobia - I've done my best to desensitize, but I still don't like them. (And I guess I've sort of forgiven Jayne for the time he made me dress up in one to come to a ship that had perfect life support of its own.) But I'd think that even someone who was a bit more rational when it came to spacesuits and vacuum would have some qualms about this prospect, about Kaylee going outside the ship to fix something when we were flying through space at such relatively high speeds, and when the pilot couldn't be sure about possible collisions.

Indeed, Mal had a very grim look on his face when he turned to River. "How're we doing for space dust and micro-debris? The sort of thing that wouldn't hurt Serenity's hull but be a problem for a girl going on a walk outside?"

"Hmm... not great at the moment," River admitted. "If these charts are right, they'll clear up a lot in twenty minutes or so."

"Then I'll start getting ready," Kaylee said.

"One thing," I said. "If you've got all the parts you'd need for any repair, can you make a brand-new receiver button and just replace it out there?"

"Hmm." She seriously considered the idea. "There's a few problems with that plan. One, the button is encased with three modular sections - I've got spares, but only two, so I'd need to take one from the button outside - if all three were damaged, then the reception would really be much worse than it is. Two, it'd take too long to build it up from scratch. Three, even after I took that much time, I couldn't be sure that it would work better than the existing button without a _lot_ of extensive testing while it's hooked into the system..."

"Right," Mal said. "Well, any prep work that you can do quickly before you suit up wouldn't be a bad idea, Kaylee, but I think overall we need you to get out there as soon as you can be ready to get the job done and as soon as River reports a clear spell outside that looks to last for long enough. What can we do to help you prep?"

I watched Kaylee as she mentally prepared herself for this ordeal, and realized that she wasn't taking it lightly. But for her to risk her life like this would likely save the lives of all the people that she loved, and she was the only one who knew enough about the tiniest piece of Serenity to get it done. And then she took charge, stepping into that role like she had always been used to it.

"Zoe: run down to the cargo bay, pull my suit, and give it a first check-over. I trust you well enough for that. Then bring it upstairs. Mal - I'm not sure how much this might help, but I'd feel better if Inara was ready at the controls of Thunderbird one, just in case I slip. It's more manoeuvrable for short distances than Serenity is - if anybody can catch me drifting, it'd be Inara. No offense, River."

"No, that's okay," River said. "You're right - Serenity's thrusters can be a little too powerful for delicate work, and I'm not used to flying a shuttle anyway. My place is here."

"Wait a second," I said. "Do the shuttles have radar of their own? Maybe they could help cover."

"Maybe," Zoe said uncertainly. "As short-range vehicles, they don't have any use for long-range sensors, so they might not be any better than what we've got. But it could be a little help..."

"I'll start fashioning a Cortex link between the three navicomps," River said, already working on the control board again.

"And me?" I said, turning to Kaylee. "I want to help."

"You've helped already," she insisted, giving me a quick kiss. "Neither of us could have known it, but the gear you pushed me into buying on Boros is what made this whole thing possible." Oh, now why wasn't that quite what I wanted to hear at the moment. "I'm heading down to our bunk - most of what I'll need to pack is down there now. But the braided wire and the modular button shell case sections are in the engine room - I'll tell you exactly where."

I sighed, took one more fond look at her, and headed back through the corridor.

#

It only took around fifteen minutes for everything to be ready - all of the tools and parts that Kaylee could carry were assembled, the spacesuit had been double-checked to make sure that it was sound, and Inara was alerted and ready to do her part. Everybody on board had heard of the crisis and the plan by this point, including the passengers, and Jayne, who had gone down to his bunk, and just when I'd forgotten about him leaving, (which didn't take long,) had re-emerged with a new item to offer Kaylee - two small oxygen cylinders. She'd looked up from recalibrating some electronic jigger to figure out what they were.

"Well, thanks, that's sweet, but I really don't think I'll be needing more breathin' air than I can carry on my back, Jayne."

"Well, you never know, which is why they're oxygen, but not really meant for breathing. These guys have enough reaction mass to push you back to the ship in case your tether breaks and you slip off. They could be a life-saver."

"Yeah, I guess another failsafe never hurts," she agreed. "Thanks for the thought." And the cylinders had joined the pile of equipment that she'd be carrying.

"Looks like the micro-debris zone we're in is fading out," River announced a few minutes later. "I think this is it."

"I'd concur," Inara reported over the intercom. "Conditions aren't going to get any clearer, after allowing you a two minute delay to get suited up and lock out."

"Don't have to tell me twice," Kaylee said, standing up. She'd been in very thin and loose underclothes ever since re-emerging from the bunk with the Boros gear, and I realized the wisdom of it as she quickly crawled into the flexible gas-tight suit. Slamming the helmet on as quickly as possible, she quickly realized that it had sealed over her loose hair, and my sweet precious girl was mumbling rude Mandarin under her breath as she took the headgear back off and set it aside.

"Let me," I whispered, stepping close, and for a few seconds she was too surprised to react at all, before nodding silently. As quickly and tenderly as I could, I gathered her light brown locks together, relishing the fruity smell of the waterless cleanser she used on it when we were on the ship, and the very faint red-gold highlights. It only took twenty seconds or so to get all of Kaylee's hair arranged in a practical but cute bun on top of her head, and she beamed as I offered her the helmet back again.

"Now, where did you learn to do that?" she whispered. "I didn't even see what you held it fastened with."

"I'm a man of many secret talents," I teased, and kissed her again before letting her lock her face inside. Stood back and allowed Zoe and Mal to take the lead in equipping her with all of her gear, though I handed anything over when it looked like I was the closest or the only person who understood what she was asking for. Then one end of a tether was fastened onto the suit, and she crawled into a little airlock hidden between the cockpit and the forward hall. The other end of that tether would get fastened inside the lock before she opened the outer door.

And now there was nothing to do but wait. The seconds ticked by into minutes as all of us stood silent in the cockpit or crowded around the airlock door waiting for some sign from our engineer. There was an open short-range radio line into her suit of course, but Kaylee wasn't reporting anything and nobody liked to bug her for routine updates. I was pretty sure that I could hear the sound of her breathing over the speaker, tense and slightly hoarse with unusual expectation, but that didn't tell me much.

"There she is," Mal said after nearly two minutes, catching sign of a shape in a white suit with a bubble head emerging into the corner of the window. "Oh, no."

"What?" I asked, and then leaned over so that I could see. She had missed her footing, and was starting to drift away from the hull already. "Inara?"

"What?"

"Get ready to..." I started, but Mal cut me off.

"Inara, hold," he said firmly. "We may or might not have a situation here. Just give her a minute to..."

"What do you mean, 'may or might not?'" I demanded, as furious with Mal as I had been when River (and the others) had only just escaped the Reavers on Lilac. Felt an urge to take a swing at him again, but didn't really want to go through all the 'will he or won't he throw us off again' drama, especially since River and I really had more to hang onto here on Serenity - or I had more to hang onto, and I understood better all that she had found here.

I was so mad that I'd completely forgotten to even keep watching out the window at this point.

#

(Kaylee.)

The cold of outer space started to seep into my soul while the airlock was going, and I felt it even more once the outer door of the lock slid creakily open. Wasn't a literal thing - a space suit has so much insulation built into it that if anything you usually feel a bit hot under the collar unless a cooling jigger goes on, but never mind.

All kinds of things I knew and heard about how hostile space was always came into my head when I was face to face with the stuff, (okay, it's not really stuff, just the absence of stuff, I do know that much,) and even the stories about the Reavers being driven mad by looking into the emptiness of the edge of the 'Verse wasn't something I could easily let go of just because we now knew other stuff about what had made men into Reavers in the first place.

But there was no time to stay sittin' in the lock all affeared, so I checked the end of the tether just once and started to crawl out, using the magnetic pads on hands and knees instead of the soles of my boots, to crawl on all fours over Serenity's hull. It was slow going, especially dealing with the tether, but the routine of it started to take my mind off the possibility of getting hit by anything or some other issue going wrong. My suit was also pretty well reinforced, so it was quite unlikely that anything we'd run into would be able to cut or poke a hole in it, though that just meant that it would get turned into a blunter hit that would be more likely to tear me away.

With a kind of an internal push I forced such worries away and concentrated on the crawl. When I first got close enough to peer into the cockpit windows and saw just about everybody staring out and looking for me it was enough of a startlement to get me to lose my grip for a moment, but it wasn't too hard to pull back on the tether until it took me to the last place I'd anchored it.

Oh, didn't I explain that part? I guess I take it for granted, even though I haven't really been out on a tether that many times. There are little magnetic knobs on the tether line too, and if you're walking or crawling on a spaceship hull, as I was, it's easy to fasten one of the knobs to the ship every five yards or so as you go. Then, assuming that you don't get jerked hard enough for the magnetic link to get broken, there's a limit to how far you can get pulled away from those anchor points. (There's also a little gizmo inside the spacesuit that will give you more line when you ask for it and not when you've lost your grip - so that you don't have as much extra slack on the line as your range.) It's a pretty good system, though nothing's perfect. When I managed to get to the window for the second time and wave into it, Simon was nearly shoving the Captain around and they had to prod at him and point forward to get him to realize that I was there. Maybe he'd seen me slip and figured that I'd gotten into much more trouble than I'd really been in.

Well, in any event, it was time to get to work. Finding the radar receiver 'button' was easy enough - it was a roundish flat thing, fairly dark, and about as big as my palm, or - well, have you ever seen that ice-skates and goal game, that they play on Saint Albans and other cold worlds, Cock-eye? It reminded me a lot of the few times I've seen a cock-eye puck close up.

Opened the casing, took one section of it away, and started to tinker and test as quickly as I could, looking for a faulty component or a loose connection, anything that would explain 'fuzziness' in the readings. After a bit of this, I realized that I'd made an assumption, and really should test the signal coming out of the button, to see if the fault was in the braided wire, first off. To do this, I'd need to splice other wires into the braid and run those into the multi-tester - use that as if it were the control board up in the cockpit, just like I'd done when I was crawled into the melon.

Time seemed to pass quickly, as it always does when I'm hard at work with machines, and I started to lose my awareness of being outside in a suit. The vacuum gloves that come with the getup are a piece of work - protect against vacuum prickle and temperature extremes while being nearly as comfortable to work with as bare hands. The check I did on the bottom end of the braided wire came up bad, so I knew that I needed to return to work on the button itself, and I was a bit over halfway done checking every component once when I realized that there was a capacitor jobbie that had mostly blown itself out, which was weird, because usually those last for just about forever. Maybe something had strained it during the flight to and from Miranda, the fight with the Alliance, or the crash on Mister Universe's moon, and either it took this long to die or nobody had noticed until River started relying on the radar more and more with this course. Well, I had two spare capacitors now, and it was an easy thing to plug one of them in and triple-check the connections.

Rather than spend the time to hook up my own testers again, I chose the easier route of climbing up to the window, well clear of the button's sense field myself, tapped on the glass and pointed to River's console. She realized what I was after and spent several long seconds refreshing the radar display, probably zooming in on one particular blip, then looked up with a big grin on her little face, made an a-okay sign with one hand, and then pointed back to the airlock. Yeah, I was certainly ready to come back in at that point.

But when I turned, I just managed to catch a glimpse of a fist-sized chunk of something streaming straight at my face. It bounced off my helmet, a'course, but the shock of that impact against my suit must have been enough to knock me senseless. It is for pigs to laugh.

I didn't, of course, see all the disbelieving stares of my friends and loved ones from inside the cockpit, not sure what to do to help me now.


	4. Chapter 4

(Jayne):

"Well, now, that's a thing you don't see every day." Suppose I was speakin' to cover my own worry as Kaylee drifted close to the forward viewport, her face all peaceful with her eyes closed like that. "Seen a guy who got the leg of his suit blown out by a meteor, or the side, or even the helmet. Had meteors bounce off the padded part of my suit and shook 'em off, in the arm or the chest."

"Meteoroids, or micro-planetoids," River corrected me absently. "They're not meteors until they get into a world's air and start to burn up."

"Well, whatever," I muttered. Getting the word right was never a big priority for me. "But still - to have a rock bounce off the helmet of somebody's suit, not even crack it..."

"And knock her out, from the concussion, or the whiplash," Simon said, his face still darkening. "Okay, this is enough gandering time. How do we get her back?" He turned, to look to Mal. "You can't possibly be thinking that we should just stay here and wait for her to wake up by herself. That could be hours, and her air won't last that long..."

"No, I don't think so," Mal muttered. "Just trying to weigh the options..."

"I'm ready to launch, at a few seconds' notice," Inara reminded Mal over the comm circuit.

"Well..." Mal drawled.

"No, I don't think so, thanks," Zoe replied crisply. "She's drifting way too close to the ship, at the moment, and as fancy as that shuttle of yours is, it doesn't have a rescue grapple or anything. Last thing we need is you cracking the window in here."

"Okay, then... then somebody _has_ to go out in a suit and bring her in," Simon said, and then uttered the words that he knew would force the issue. "If no-one else will take that risk for Kaylee, then I'm going."

I'd been thinking of what to say since he started. "Alright, I'll go fetch you a suit."

"I, I... much as I might like to..." Having got this far, Mal took time out to sigh. "Not sure that it's worth the risk of sending our surgeon out there, Mister Tam, instead of someone who's actually experienced at extra-vehicular activities in a space suit."

"Or even someone who's gotten training in spacewalk rescues," Zoe chimed in.

"Yeah, but I don't think that we've got anybody who's been..." Mal trailed off and looked at Zoe. "I don't think I knew that, if you mean you."

"I did live for many years before I ended up in your platoon, sir," Zoe replied dryly. "Looks like this really is the girls' chance to save the day. River's flying us all safely through, Kaylee was the only one who could fix the radar, and I'm the best one suited to rescue her, if you'll pardon the accidental wordplay."

"Okay, then... I'll fetch _your_ suit?" Simon hazarded.

"As long as you're sure you can tell which it is," Zoe agreed with a little smile.

"Is there anything else that you need?" Mal asked.

"Not... not really," Zoe muttered, though she didn't sound sure. "We don't have much in the way of advanced rescue gear. Oh, Jayne - any chance you got more of those push guns?"

"The... the gas tubes?" I asked. "Um, just one, and it's nitro."

"Still push me back to Serenity, if I really need it," she pointed out.

I was already almost gone, but picked the conversation back up after retrieving the tube. "But this one doesn't have enough thrust to push both you and Kaylee."

"Hmm... well, then I can push further off, and Inara can go fetch us once we're far enough away from Serenity," she said after a moment."

"You're missing the obvious," River put in. "If you get Kaylee, then you've got the gas jets that Jayne gave **her**, too. If she's still out, then look in the front pocket of her right thigh."

"Yeah, that'll work," Zoe agreed. Quickly and efficiently she suited up, took what rescue gear we had, and disappeared out the airlock. Now we had only to wait.

Kaylee had been through two minor difficulties since going out - one that she'd recovered from herself, and one that had left her unaware. Would Zoe's trip be smoother, on a trip like this?

#

(Wash):

First off, just don't even ask how or why.

I smiled at Kaylee and waved her over. A somewhat confused, or maybe bemused, expression came over her face as she walked over the brown grass to join me. "Okay, let's start with an easy one," she said after getting within two paces. "Why are we **here**?"

"I'm not sure that there are any easy questions, including that one," I pointed out, "but I'll give it a try. This is a very important place, to both of us, even though we've never really been here. There's something about it that changed both of our lives."

"I don't like riddles," she told me. "I've never liked riddles, even in dreams, or - near death vision experience things, or whatever..."

"You're not near death," I said as reassuringly as I could. "Scary situation, I admit, but - well, Zoe should be making sure that you're okay, and Simon, of course, will be able to diagnose if you've got whiplash or a concussion or whatever. And if you don't like the riddle, then try to think of it like a mechanical puzzle. What can you tell about this spot?"

"Well, it's an empty spot near the edge of... of a used spaceship lot, I can see that much," she admitted. "And, well, something about..." She frowned at the ground. "This is very familiar to me, but, well... okay, a Firefly was landed here, but the grass has grown up since. And that suggests, since the marks are still visible - that it was here for a long time."

"Indeed."

"Now, since you made the connection to you and me, and there's only one Firefly that's really been important to either of us... has Serenity been here?" I nodded silently. "Was - was this where Mal first bought her?"

"Yeah."

"Wait a second, though. If you were the pilot that Mal hired, how come you weren't here?"

"Oh, right, that. The guy who ran this place was starting to insist that Mal get it off the property, while I was still on the way to meet with them. After Bester had got it flight-worthy, you know, which did take a little while."

"So, what, did Zoe take the controls herself?"

"Hmm, no, probably because she didn't have any experience with a Firefly model back then. Maybe she could still have flown Serenity a little ways and landed her, based on the general pilot skill she'd managed to scrape up as a kid and during the war, but nope." I couldn't quite keep from chuckling at the memory. "I was the pilot that they hired, and the top of Mal's wish list, but I weren't the only one that they talked to. And the first qualified pilot that they could find, they had her take Serenity up as a sort of an audition, or a test drive."

"Wasn't umm, she curious that she wasn't landing right back where she'd taken off?"

"Hmm, yeah, that would be a bit odd. I hadn't thought on it though." I considered for a moment and shrugged. "Maybe Mal pretended that he was horrified by her piloting, and wouldn't risk the ship on the trip back. I wouldn't put that kind of performance past him."

"Alright, now." Kaylee walked up to me and took my hand in hers, standing across the line where the imprint of the cargo bay ramp could still be seen. "Now, I'd like to ask another one of these big questions. Why are **you** talking to me? I mean, if there are spirits of those who've passed on, then why me and not - well, not Zoe?"

"Maybe I'll get a chance to see her too," I said. "Or possibly I'm just a subconscious thought in your head, and I'm not really here even in a dream. That would be weird, I admit. Makes my head hurt - or, what seems to me like my own head, at least." I shook the hand awkwardly, and Kaylee shook back and then let it drop. "So, how have things been, since...?"

"Can't you tell? I mean, if you know how I got knocked out, and can guess that Zoe and Simon will help me..."

"No, I haven't been watching the whole time, if that's what you're thinking of. I wish that I could, except that... well, it seems a bit sad, me being dead, and spending my entire afterlife or whatever just watching you guys. I mean, you were my family, but still. I was able to - to somehow sense your surface thoughts about what happened right before you came here, and I made some guesses about what was likely to happen next. That's all. By the way, it's great about you and Simon... and Mal and Inara. One couple gets torn apart, and two more come together..."

"Mal and - and Inara?"

"You already believe, deep down, that there's something going on there," I told her. "But if they're trying to be low-profile about it, then you should probably pretend that you haven't noticed anything. Inara has her reasons."

"Right, umm, okay. So, let's see." Kaylee's face assumed a cute, thoughtful expression. "What else is there that you might not have been able to get from whatever my 'surface thoughts' are? We went to Boros - Zoe and Jayne went on a bounty hunting side job and they both got shot, actually, but they're okay now. The alliance is cracking up and there's this guy from Ariel who's already keen on putting the pieces back together. We're taking a short-cut trip across the heart of the 'Verse to take a few passengers and some supplies to Hera..."

"Oh, right, the deep slot," I said, adding an appreciative whistle. "Only did one of those, and it was before my days with Serenity. It was quite a rush. Wish that I'd made a point of doing it again before... well, you know. Who's piloting... Is it River? Are you sure that she's up to it? I mean, I know that she's very smart and all, but..."

"She was doing fine until the radar started to fog out," Kaylee told me. "That's about all I can be sure of."

"Alright. And aside from getting herself shot **again** - Zoe's been keeping it together okay?"

"Well... she's a bit grimmer than her most carefree, I have to admit. Even more than when I first met her, before you guys got together, actually."

"Do you think that she's... really let herself grieve, and start to move on?"

"Well, I... I guess I'm not sure how to answer that, honestly!" Kaylee shook her head, and I noticed that her hair was a bit different than it had been back on Haven, but couldn't put my finger on how. "We - well, we had the funeral ceremony for you of course, and Shepherd Book, and Mister Universe..."

"Oh, man! He bit it too?" My knees got shaky, and I sat down with my legs crossed on the grass. Kaylee blinked in surprise, and then kneeled to get close to my level.

"Yeah, huh, I guess that you - well, should I tell you the whole story of what happened after... we landed?"

"Highlight reel only, please, I'm not sure how long we have." So she told me how the Reavers had chased the crew of Serenity out into Mister Universe's home, and Mal had found Universe himself dead, with a message that he'd manage to program into his Love-bot Lenore as he was dying. There were condensed explanations about a showdown between Mal and the Operative near the home generator, where U had put in a backup signal transmitter, and in the meantime the rest of the gang tried to fend off Reavers - but Kaylee herself, Simon, and Zoe were all incapacitated, and Simon had dropped his bag when they were getting overrun, and River managed to access the combat skills that the Alliance had programmed into her and save them all - until the Alliance soldiers had them all surrounded, and Mal got the message sent out, and the Operative called off his troops, on the somewhat dubious grounds that killing them out of revenge would be pointless.

"But come to think of it, ever since the funeral... I dunno, I guess that none of us have really been doing much to process what we lost when we lost you - and Book, and come to terms with it," Kaylee admitted reflectively. "Just - well, trying to stay busy, to keep flying, and distract ourselves from thinking of it. Oh, I adopted the dinos, but not quite sure where they got to when we started switching bunks and all..."

"Hmm." I considered that. "Maybe you can think of something to change that, when you get back."

"Yeah." Kaylee shuddered. "I think possibly that's going to happen pretty soon, so one more question."

"Go ahead."

"Do - do you remember anything since you got... thunked? Something even more after-lifey than being here and talkin' to me?"

I broke up laughing. "Sorry, but that would be telling, and it just isn't fair."

"Not fair? Not fair to who? I swear, Wash, if this is one of your silly jokes, I'm not ever going to forgive you..."

I tried to smile mysteriously, but Kaylee did start to wake up at that point, and I think that the effect was ruined.

#

(Inara):

"Hey, she's waking up," I pointed out, as I noticed Kaylee's eyes fluttering and trying to stay open. Simon turned from the metal bands that he had been adjusting, and I saw the tender smile in his face as he looked down at the girl on his table.

"How are you feeling, honey?"

"I... not quite sure," Kaylee moaned. "I... I'm in the infirmary, right?"

"Yes," he said. "Inara's here - she's been assisting me. Now that you're awake, if you feel up to it, we can bring some of the others in - except River, of course, because she's still busy."

"Everything's still fine with the radar?"

"Perfect, as far as I know," I replied. "There are some difficult course calculations to be made, and a couple adjustments, because of all that time when we couldn't see clearly, but things look good."

"Alright." Kaylee's breathing was starting to speed up. "Next question - why can I hardly move? Did... did something really go wrong..."

"Not that badly," Simon quickly assured her. "I've restrained you and used some anaesthetic to keep you from struggling, but that's just to make sure that you'll be all better by morning. There was some stretching of your spinal ligament, and a hairline fracture on your number three disc, which could have caused some problems later on, so I gave you injections to speed the re-knitting of the bone and tissue, and you absolutely cannot move your head or your chest until they have had sufficient time to take effect, which will be many hours. If you want, I can un-restrain your arms and legs as long as you promise to remain calm."

"Whoo, boy," Kaylee let out a sort of a quiet moan. "First off, thank you for taking such good care of me. Secondly, yes, I think that I'd like to be able to move the free ends about some, and I understand about not jostling myself or anything."

"Alright. Inara?" I came over to the table and helped to undo the limb restraints at Simon's direction. "Please bear in mind, you may not have much strength or co-ordination in your muscles, this is partly because they've been still for so long, and mostly on account of the anaesthetic. In a little while, that should wear off somewhat, and I'll only reapply it in your spinal area." Sure enough, Kaylee's legs only twitched slightly and fell still, and one of her arms nearly fell off the table, but I caught it and put it back at her side in case that might have caused an accidental 'wrench.' Noticed at this point that Kaylee was still in only the brief underthings that she had been wearing beneath her spacesuit, but I didn't exactly mind that. I wondered if she would. Obviously, between Kaylee and Simon, that wouldn't be particularly an issue.

"I do have a third point, what was it?" She whined deeply. "Oh, yeah - what **happened** to me out there?"

Simon looked at me, but I shrugged. I hadn't been able to see what was going on nearly as well as he had, from where I'd been sitting at the helm of the Thunderbird shuttle, ready to fly out in case that was needed. "Umm, well, from what I saw, and somebody mentioned... there was a little rock, around fist-sized or something, that hit you on your helmet. Pushed you right into the windows, and - well, that's about it. Must have pushed your suit into you as well. You blacked out, and - and Zoe went out in a suit of her own, and brought you back in. I was on the comm, giving her as much help as I could on how to transport you without any risk of making things worse. We fashioned a sort of a spinal board and tied it to you outside of the space suit..."

"Alright, that's enough of the explanation, honey," Kaylee said, but her tone was somewhat relieved. "Nobody saw anything weirder than that out the window, after I'd been knocked out? Something that really didn't make sense?"

"Um, no, I don't think so."

"Good," she insisted. "Well, I'm feeling calmer, but... no reason to get anyone else in here, I think, just to keep me company. Everybody's probably still busy."

"Do - do you want me to stay here?" Simon said, reaching out to lightly pick up Kaylee's left hand and hold it in his own. "I - I really should check out Zoe, though there's not much reason to suspect that she took any injuries herself. But still, as a precaution..."

"That's alright, baby. As - as long as you can stay a while, 'Nara? I don't much feel like lying here all alone."

"Certainly I can stay," I told her. "Shuttle's down from high alert, and nowhere else I need to be just at this moment." As Simon said his goodbyes, I pulled up a little folding chair so that I could sit close enough to the table to reach out and touch Kaylee myself.

"Alright, there's something that I've been wondering," Kaylee said once Simon was gone. "If - if you really wanted to be with, well, just a regular guy. Because you liked him, or loved him, I mean, and not as a paying proposition... would there be any way to arrange it? Would the Guild get upset?"

I stiffened inside my mind, forcing my muscles, at least, to remain calm, and trying not to let my blood race. Was this just idle Kaylee curiosity, or was she starting to hint around at the possibility of my arrangement with Mal? Well, I could answer the question honestly at face value, at least. If she **did** suspect the truth, then this question showed quite a bit more maturity and sensitivity than I'd really given Kaylee credit for when I'd decided that she couldn't be let in on the secret. She had waited for a moment when the two of us were alone, and asked not about the central issue itself, but circuitously inquired about the reasons that I would have for wanting to make sure that the affair was an iron-clad secret, _if_ it hypothetically existed.

"It's very complicated," I said slowly. "Very generally, for a companion to take a lover, which is the term usually used, must be a matter of the deepest secrecy. The Guild does not believe in dictating the private lives of its membership, but believes that the perception of favouritism, or that any Companion might lose her emotional objectivity enough to desire a continuing sexual relationship with someone unable or unwilling to pay the going rates... that it's bad for us all if the word gets out."

"Not good for business, you mean," Kaylee said, giggled softly, and then went 'ow.'

"Does it hurt to laugh?" I asked her.

"A little bit, yeah. Not in my back or anything, but - these restraints are actually very tight over my chest, and so when I laugh, I breathe in a way that's less... restrained than otherwise."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense," I agreed neutrally.

"Can you make them just a tiny bit looser, maybe?" Kaylee wheedled sweetly.

"Sorry, in one sense I'd love to, but... well, I don't know enough. Either to be sure that it's something that can be safely done without risking you hurting your back, or... or even to know the right way to adjust the straps without hurting you."

"Oh." The disappointed tone to Kaylee's voice tugged at my heartstrings a bit.

"You can ask Simon when he comes back," I pointed out. "But getting back to the topic of conversation, it's not all about business and the money coming in. I had to tell..." _Very_ nearly stumbled over my own tongue at this point, but caught myself and realized that it wasn't anything I needed to worry about 'giving away', and in fact, the fact that I was talking about this openly might distract Kaylee from the things she was really hinting towards. "...Mal that, when we were stranded on Ares," I finished, with only about a breath's pause in the middle of the sentence. "Money's important, on one level it makes the 'Verse go round, but you can't let yourself become fixated on that aspect of things. There's... there's a philosophical aspect to the work that a Companion undertakes, a metaphysical sense that studying and practicing the art of love the way that we do allows it to become more than a simple trade, money for physical gratification, but a healing and a spiritual renewal of those that come to ask for us, and thus, a benefit to the entire cosmos... in our own little ways."

"Yeah, right," Kaylee muttered.

I was torn for a second. Usually I was used to getting this kind of reaction to anyone who I'd explained this much of the Guild rule to, and it was the standard cue to pipe down and start listening to what they wanted to speak about. But Kaylee wasn't just anybody, but one of my dearest friends and 'companions', in the common sense, in the whole 'Verse... and I suddenly realized that I had a captive audience in her, at least until Simon returned to the Infirmary. I hadn't gotten this far when trying to explain to Mal, and it was growing more important to me that he really understood and accepted my work and how much it really meant to me.

"Okay, what's so hard to believe about it? You won't dispute the idea that sex can transcend the physical condition, that it can affect your emotions in a very powerful way and even heal the spirit?"

"Well, no - not when it's with someone that you love, someone who you know you're going to be with a long time," Kaylee started.

"There speaks the determined romantic," I said, and chuckled. After hearing the story about Kaylee and Bester, there was once a time when I didn't think I'd ever be able to accuse her of over-sentimentality. "Yes, certainly, making love in a circumstance like that is... is incredible, and I'm not about to discount that. But... but I don't think that's the only way to qualify for what I'm talking about. What about..." I groped for an example, given what I knew about Kaylee's sex life. "Okay, umm... what about your first time with Simon. Did you realize that you loved him then?"

"Umm... I think maybe I did - by the time we were done with each other."

"You were high on hormones and the sense of finally getting something that you'd been longing for over months, but... I'm not sure that's what I'd think of as love," I hedged, though I wasn't sure if I could make that stick. "And you've told me that you weren't sure about your future together. But..."

"Okay, okay, I'm not entirely convinced, but I think that I can start to get a sense of what you're talking about," Kaylee admitted. "Passion, chemistry. _really_ good sex. I can see how that can be more than just offering nookie up on a platter. But - but can you really duplicate something like that on a platter, just by... by studying and practicing in it?"

"Not always," I had to admit. "It has a lot to do with your... partner. Over the whole, though, I've found that in the bedroom, the ones who weren't ready to put in the effort in and help me craft food for the soul - were the ones who couldn't really tell the difference and were just as happy munching cheap burgers. Satisfied customer either way, though it makes a big difference in how **I** feel about the appointment."

"Yeah, of course," Kaylee said. "Oh, blueberry."

"What?" I blinked in surprise at the unexpected word, and then realized that there were footsteps outside the door - Simon returning to check in on Kaylee. When he came in, I made sure that neither of them needed me for anything further, and then made my own withdrawal and started out on the prowl through the ship.

Five rooms and three wrong people later, I found Mal leaning against the wall of the engine room, looking back and forth between an unfolded sheet of plas-print and the rapidly spinning rotor. "Umm, hello there. What's going on?"

"Well, River mentioned that something needed to um, get adjusted back here," Mal said doubtfully, but the smile that he flashed briefly in my direction was very sweet. "Something to do with reducing our fuel consumption now that we're well into the core of the 'Verse, and falling about as quickly as we're going to."

"Ah," I said. "But Kaylee isn't available, and you're not quite sure exactly what needs to be done."

"I know what needs doing!" Mal countered. "Some other people's opinions to the contrary, Serenity is mine own ship, and though I don't have the specialized knowledge that some people can bring to her, I do understand the guts of her workings..."

"That only started after Kaylee started tutoring you," I pointed out. "You didn't even know what the coil catalyser was when... well, you know." He shot me an aggravated look, and then shrugged with a bit better humour. "Why don't you call her on the intercom and ask her?"

"Simon _forbade_ me from 'bothering' her," Mal muttered, and I suspected that this was what was really bothering him, someone else giving the orders around here. "I may be captain, but I admit I've sort of learned not to push my luck when Doctor Simon Tam feels protective over a young lady. Might never be sure just when the fist of his anger is gonna strike again."

"Okay, well..." Something about that confused me, and I wondered if it was a story that hadn't yet been told about the weeks when I'd been away from my family here aboard ship. Had it really been nearly three standard months? Hard to imagine, that I could leave for so long... "So just what's the issue?"

"I know what switches to flip, and so on, but... but they're - well, they're on there." Mal gestured to the quickly spinning rotor. "Not really quick enough to get in there without worrying about breaking a finger, and I'm not quite sure if I can stop it from turning by pushing against it, or if that would be bad for her."

"Oh, dear Buddha." I couldn't quite stifle the fit of giggles, and went over to hit the intercom near Kaylee's hammock and the Cortex source there.

"Don't call Kay..." Mal started.

"Engine room to pilot," I reported. "Requesting a brief bypass of the main core system. Do you want to handle that, River, or should we?"

"Hey, I'm no control freak," River reported. "Go ahead, but don't leave me dead in the water for too long."

"No, of course not." I turned the intercom off, and nodded at Mal. "That big red button-switch, here on the stator - that's the part that doesn't move, connected to the rotor - that's a bypass switch. You push it once, and the rotor gradually slows down and stops turning."

"Oh, right," Mal said a bit sheepishly. "And we've got no main power to the engine then?"

"Nope," I agreed with an affirmative nod. "But you can make adjustments on the rotor itself, and then turn the bypass back off."

"Hmm." Mal considered that. "Maybe you'd better manage the bypass. Not that I don't know how to work it, now - seems dirt simple once you know it's there and what it does after all."

"Yep."

"But if speed is the critical thing, then I'd have to be rushing hither and yon..."

"Sure," I agreed. Speed wasn't _that_ critical, but if it would make him feel more comfortable, I was quite willing to go through with this. "Tell me when."

So I turned the bypass on, and Mal reached out to slow the rotor down once he could tell that it was losing speed all by itself, made the adjustments, and gave me the go to hit that bypass switch one more time. The rotor started to pick up speed once again, but not nearly as quickly as before, which made some sense.

"So, what's up?" Mal asked, crossing over to sit on the hammock, as if that was something that he was entitled to after taking care of the engine himself. "Kaylee doing alright down there?"

"Oh, yeah, I think so," I said, smiling. "We had an interesting talk, about Guild companions and their secret lovers..."

"Oh, Hun Dan, she's close to figuring it out," Mal muttered.

"Maybe, but I actually think that she won't blab if so," I insisted. "And, well... the talk turned to chemistry, and **really** good sex."

"Oh indeed?"

"Yes." I reached out to take his hand. "Come on. It's been a long day, and I don't think anyone will miss you for a while."

Mal rose to his feet and grinned. "That sounds like a truly excellent idea."

I fought the urge to stop touching him or even look around for other members of the crew as we stepped out of the engine room. But I have to admit that I was listening for footsteps.

#

(Zoe):

I knocked on the door of the Infirmary, even though it wasn't open. "Hey, Zoe, is that you?" a familiar voice called from inside.

"Yeah, hi Kaylee," I said, stepping inside. Our talented mechanic was still stretched out on the bed-table back first, so that explained why she hadn't been able to tell it was me from looking. "Simon said that you wanted to talk with me about something specific?"

"Oh, like you wouldn't have come to see me if it weren't for anything specific," she teased me back. "Not just for the sake of keeping me company? That's pretty unspecific I think. I see how it is."

"It's not like that, quite," I said, pulling up the chair. "I can hang around for a while, but there are chores to be taken care of, and Mal's nowhere that I can find him."

Kaylee giggled. "And is Inara anywhere to be found?"

"Hmm... in her shuttle, I would expect. Gets touchy about anyone going in there without permission, still."

"Yeah. So - you doing fine? Simon said that he checked you out, but..."

"A little tired and throbbing of the head, but that's not too bad. And yourself?"

"Feeling great, except for itchy and restless inside this contraption." She lifted and flexed a leg, carefully but deliberately, so as not to jostle her torso, but moving it as much as she could given the restraints. "Thank you for coming out to fetch me, by the way."

"All part of my job. I'd have done the same for any crew or passenger," I said gruffly. "But if it had been Jayne, or Mal, I'd never have let 'em live it down. You're okay on that basis I think."

"Well, good to know!" Kaylee made a weak attempt at a giggle, which actually made her sound very sick just for a moment, but I didn't read much into it. "Okay, I guess that we've got to the specific part now. I s... I want to have a wake for Wash, and - and thought I should ask if it was okay with you, and how much you'd like to be involved."

"A wake?" For a moment I was surprised enough that I couldn't even mentally connect the word with the concept. And then, I wondered why I hadn't thought of it myself. Perhaps I hadn't been ready enough to see how well it fit, to put that four-letter name to the thing that I knew was missing and explain it to the rest of the ship's company. "And just how did you think of that one, Kay Frye?"

"It came to me in a dream," she told me flippantly. I ignored that, except for wondering if Simon had her on any painkillers. Wouldn't have thought she'd need any. "Can I assume that you're okay with the idea?"

"Well, we definitely do have to have something like that for him," I agreed. "Whether you call it a goodbye party or a watching vigil, or... well, whatever, doesn't matter so much. Do - do you think it's something that we should put together soon? It's overdue, I suppose, but we aren't exactly in a great situation to make preparations..."

"Yes, we **have** to do it before we arrive on Hera," Kaylee insisted. "He'd love the idea of having his wake on the ship, while we were in the middle of a flight like this, wouldn't he?" I had to grunt a grudging agreement to that much. "And it's not like you really need that much in the way of party supplies for something like this - I mean, back home we didn't, and I'm not sure what traditions you'd want to include, but..."

"I guess you're right," I admitted. "We're fairly well stocked on liquor, I think, and that might be the only truly required supply."

"I, um, I guess maybe so," she agreed. "Anything I can do to help?"

"If there's something you can do lying there... well, I'll be sure to tell you," I replied. "Failing that... come see me when your boy cuts you loose. That'll be in the morning, ship's time, yeah?"

"Yup. Just hope I can actually get some sleep."

I wondered if Simon didn't have a drug that would help her rest, but decided not to bring that up. It had been a while since he'd had much of a chance to replenish his doctor's bag, after all, and lots of need for it lately. Except... what about Boros? Kaylee had mentioned that Simon had sold out a cache of some sort and let her use the money to buy supplies and tools for the ship - wouldn't he have done the same in his own specialty? "Yeah, me too," I said, not quite sure why. "I could turn the light off."

"Sure, give that a try." With the main bulbs off, the infirmary was still illuminated by some of the monitors and controls, and light passing through the observation window, but Kaylee assured me that was better than lying there in full darkness.

I headed off towards my own bunk, trying to sort out what I'd need to organize for the wake.


	5. Chapter 5

(River):

"Okay, let's see." I adjusted the computer controls, then smiled as a little numeric display started counting backwards. (It was one of those primitive readouts with seven straight bars in a figure-eight pattern for each digit.) "Little over two minutes now."

"Cool!" Inara decided, looking out at the front window of Serenity. Simon nodded in agreement, but he was looking straight at me, and after a moment, he reached down to casually rest his hand on my shoulder.

"What's cool?" Jayne said, poking a little bit of his head into the room. "Two minutes?"

Simon sighed just slightly. "Until we pass the orbit of Londinium again, from the inner side. It'll mark the end of our close approach with the sun, and the true beginning of our climb back up the gravity well to Hera, in a way."

"Well, 'climb' isn't exactly the right word, err... or at least, it might convey the wrong impression," I pointed out. "You can think of the whole trip like a crazy V-shaped roller coaster, more or less. We've fallen down the one side and looped around the bottom, and are proceeding back up the other side at pretty much top speed. That'll reduce as we get further out of the core of the 'Verse, but still it's not like we're going to have to push ourselves upwards. In fact, soon I'll have to start retro-thrusting - firing the engines to slow us down so that we don't crash into Hera fast enough to dig out a crater."

"Because we were thrusting downwards as we fell, right?" Inara said, and I nodded. "Well, whether we make it out alive or not, this has really been something."

"Oh, come on, Inara," I told her. "All the really dangerous part has already finished. Seriously. The rest of our course is pretty much free of established space travel lanes and mapped out debris fields."

"Imagine how much that reassures me," Inara shot back. "Ever since I got onto this ship, it's been the un-established and the poorly mapped that seems to get us all in trouble."

"Umm..." Well, there was no denying that she had a point there, really. Much as I might want to. Therefore, a change of subject seemed to be called for. "So, how long until the wake starts?"

"I'm not really sure," Inara admitted. "Tried to offer my help, but... Kaylee and Zoe seem to be keeping their preparations pretty close to the vest."

"Really, just the two of them?" Jayne asked. "I thought that I saw Mal helping out, too."

"Well, perhaps," Inara muttered diffidently.

"You'd think that they'd welcome your expertise," Simon put in. "I know that there's something of a gap between a Registered Companion and a professional party planner, but as experts in the social arts, surely there must be some overlap, and..." He considered. "I could say something to Kaylee, if you want, and..."

"No," Inara said, a little crisply. "I offered, and Zoe said that they were okay. That's enough."

"And I asked Zoe when I should show up," Jayne put in. "She said an hour and a half. Think that you'll be able to get away from the big flight board to join in, little River, or will we need to bring some of the party in here?"

"Hmm... not sure," I said. "Depends on how things develop. There's so much that you can't really see that far ahead of you."

"Tell me about it," Inara muttered to herself.

#

(Mal):

"The moustache," I said, and looked over at Zoe, wondering if she would burst out laughing and let me get it out of me. Unfortunately, she didn't. Zoe hasn't been the 'burst out laughing' type much, and apparently even the occasion that had brought us together hadn't changed that... or not yet. So, I chuckled somewhat awkwardly, having this huge gut-busting guffaw inside of me and not yet feeling uninhibited enough to let it out. Maybe that would come with more time, and more liquor. "We'd have to start with the moustache if it's about memories of Hoban Washburn. Zoe, do you have any captures of him with that moustache?"

"Hmm... maybe packed away somewhere, sir," Zoe said, letting her face quirk in a smile that seemed much too casual to use the word 'sir' with and allowing her eyes to twinkle with the laughter that she wasn't quite up to letting out of herself yet. "But I think that you should have one - in that desk drawer where you keep important things related to ship business. You insisted of making videos of everyone you interviewed for the ship at the start."

"That's right, I did," I said, taking a swallow of the strong whiskey and getting to my feet. "You figure an' it's still in there? That was a while ago, and - but I suppose I've never cleared that drawer out proper." I took a few steps towards the bunk hallway.

"You didn't make no video of me when you signed me on, did you?" Kaylee asked. "I feel like I didn't get through all the formalities now."

"The formalities didn't last long into our first trip, Kaylee dear," Zoe told her. "You came along later."

"Oh." Kaylee sounded very disappointed. "Well - I remember the moustache." I had gotten over to the hallway entrance by now, but loitered just inside it for a moment, to hear more without the sound getting muffled by distance.

"Not at its finest," Zoe answered. "He'd started to trim it by the time we landed on Three Hills."

"Because he could tell that you didn't like it none," Kaylee answered. "He told me that, the first time I noticed it getting shorter..."

Down in my cabin, I found the stick of video captures right at the very back of the desk. As Zoe had said, there was more than just Wash on here - I'd interviewed several other pilots, and a few mechanics besides Bester, and one or two people for other odd jobs that hadn't been filled, or at least not at the time - one had been a serviceable medic, (who'd been asking more than we were able to pay,) and another a sort of a modern man-at-arms, but back then Zoe and I had had enough of fighting, and didn't think that we'd need another old hand at it anyhow. Things had changed by the time Jayne and his two buddies showed up, on Dyton...

So I climbed back up the ladder to show everybody the capture of Wash with the moustache, and by the time I got back into the dining room Kaylee was talking about something really funny that happened the first time I sent the both of them out together to shill for passengers, on Ezra.

The wake carried on like that for a while, which was good enough by me - just a bunch of friends talking and sharing memories about someone they loved who'd been taken from them, with plenty of alcohol and some silliness. Even Zoe got to laughing, and crying in between as well, which felt a bit odd, but maybe that was what she had to do at this point.

After a little while, though, Kaylee started to get creative. I was nervous about what she might have had in mind, especially as Kaylee... well, I wasn't sure if she'd ever had someone as close to her as Wash die - they were best of friends, inseparable through thick and thin nearly as soon as she came on board. (She'd been shaken when Tracey died a second time, 'specially after they'd been flirting and getting Simon all jealous, but that isn't really the same thing as losing someone that you've known more than a day.) But the first thing that she had in mind just seemed so perfectly appropriate and so funny that it finally let that gut-buster loose - she brought out Wash's toy dinos and had Simon help her put on a half-hour-long dramatic adventure, moving them around a table set with appropriate scenery here and there, and speaking in different voices for each of the reptilian critters. She'd obviously worked out the script well beforehand, but hadn't coached Simon on more than the briefest essentials, so there were some funny miscues half the time that Simon had to use an especially deep voice for the t-rex.

And they wanted to have some music as a feature of the event, which I can understand. Wash wasn't an especially big fan of music, though he liked a tune now and then as much as the next guy, but there was something traditional about having music in a situation like that. They'd probably had to scramble somewhat to arrange everything, and eventually Kaylee asked Inara with about an hour to go, since she was the only one from the group who'd really had any musical training.

Inara had immediately gone to search through her things to make sure that she had an instrument - good thing that that trunk from way back when hadn't still been in the shuttle when it crashed on Ares - and found a mandolin thing that would suit. She did one solo number, and made up a trio with Kaylee, who tootled along on a tin whistle, and one of the passengers who had her own portable music keyboard. And Zoe led us all in an off-key rendition of one of the old folk songs from our Army days - 'Johnny has gone for a soldier'.

As that song died down, there was an eerie sound like a gust of wind blowing through the room, though I didn't feel the breath of air moving, (and where would wind come from in a spaceship, unless from a disastrous fire like the one that...) The lighting even seemed to adjust itself downward from 'moody', like there were candles blowing out in the wind, though we didn't have any burning. (No sense putting extra stress on the oxygen tanks just for the sake of metaphorical 'atmosphere.')

Everybody sort of looked around, and I realized that one by one people were letting their gazes drift to a halt at the hatchway into the bunk hall. Little wonder. A small, but dramatic feminine silhouette was backlit in that doorway - ladies and gentlemen, our very own River Tam. Big round of applause. It was a bit of a relief that she was involved here. The girl was definitely clever enough to whip up the special effects, and she liked to get an impressive effect when she was hatching a scheme.

But nobody was really clapping yet - every eye was on River as she stepped over the threshold, still in her bare feet, and looked around at the assembled company. "I... I'm not sure about it," River whispered, sounding like a little girl younger than the eighteen years I knew she had to her. "This, what I'm proposing to do, I mean. Those of you who haven't just met me know that I... that I'm gifted, or cursed perhaps, with the touching of other people's minds."

"Maybe - maybe I should make my exit now, since the musical numbers are over," the passenger lady muttered. "I, I didn't know Wash, and it's true, I don't really know any of you. Whatever you want to do, you don't really need an outsider..."

"I don't have anything to hide now," River said. "Just for the record."

"Yes, I don't mind you staying," Zoe said graciously as the hostess. "But if you'd rather leave it to us, then I wouldn't be offended either." The lady paused to consider for just a moment, then packed up her keyboard and headed off towards the passenger dorms. "Okay, River, what do you have in mind?" Zoe asked the much younger woman.

"Not sure if this is even in good taste," River continued uncertainly. "But I... I touched Wash, while he was here, before I even understood what I was doing. Now that - that he's been taken away, what I have of his... it seems to be clearer tonight, maybe just from contrast to the original that we can't see anymore. Would you, any of you... want to speak to that echo of Wash, tonight?"

Several people gasped at once, including Zoe, Kaylee, and Simon. Jayne just grunted, and I stayed pretty much mum. "I think I can understand the concerns about if it's - appropriate, especially tonight," Inara said calmly. "This is supposed to be about... about coming to terms with what happened to Wash, and... well, and speaking to him like he was a ghost from the great beyond in a séance..."

"Wait a second," Kaylee put in. "This echo thing, River... do you think it could have influenced a dream of mine? When I was knocked loopy, outside, I - well, I saw Wash. If you can touch people's heads, then why not..."

"I, I'm not sure," River admitted. It was hard to see much of her face, or anybody's, in the dim light, but she sounded put off by something, either Inara's reaction, or Kaylee bringing up something that with all her mighty fine brains she hadn't expected. "Normally when there's something going on that way, it's something that **I'm** aware of, on some level. I don't think that there's been any evidence to the notion that I can reverse the link and broadcast mental energy to someone else, or let them sense something - especially if I'm not knowing that it's going on."

"Oh, well okay," Kaylee said, and sighed. "Still, I don't see the problem in this, 'Nara. The point is closure, and we've been talkin' about Wash and sharing stories all night. What's this but another way to be in touch with his spirit, one last time? If anything, this is something that we probably shouldn't be doing _after_ the wake, or at least that's the way it seems to me."

"Well, go ahead, then," Inara said. "I think that I won't participate, but I'm not about to stop anyone else."

Kaylee turned very obviously to Zoe, as if putting the question to her. "No, I don't mind, go ahead," Zoe answered calmly.

"You don't want first crack?"

"No, I'll... I'll see how it goes, and keep dibs on the last 'turn', if I choose," Zoe replied.

"Okay, then, how does this work?" Kaylee asked a bit nervously.

"Just... just talk to me as if I was him, and I'll try to answer in the same way," River said. "My voice might not be anything like his, but... if it's not working, if trying gets too ridiculous, say my name. I don't want to make anyone feel bad about this." She paused. "And no references to him being... dead or anything. Might get weird."

"Okay." Kaylee took a deep breath. "Hi there, Wash. Is - do you want me to ask you a question, or is there a memory you'd like to share with us? I... I don't have anything in particular..."

As she was trailing off, River interrupted her in a voice that was somehow reminiscent of my old friend without seeming to unlike her own. "Are - are we going somewhere? Burners are on, light but steady, I can tell that much."

"Yes, we're on the move," Kaylee agreed, after a slight pause for a breath. "Don't worry about the flight controls, I'm sure that everything's fine there."

"What's the destination?" River/Wash pressed.

"Hera," Kaylee answered. "We got a full load of premium cargo, with a bonus for speedy delivery, and a few important passengers to get there."

"Hera." After the answer, Wash seemed to consider. "It's been a while since I've been there."

"Yes, I know. Since before you and Zoe were married, yeah?"

"Right, that's it. But - but I can't remember that far back for some reason. I hope you enjoy your trip, anyway."

Because that was before River and Simon had come aboard the ship, I realized silently. River might have read some memories of back then, but she'd have experienced Wash's thoughts of the time that she was around much more strongly. What - what was a good memory of Wash from that time frame? The clearest thing, the one I wanted to know about, was the time that we'd been grabbed by Niska. But that was no good for bringing up now. Something happier...

Gorram it, was finding a single happy memory such a tough thing in this 'verse?

"What about Higgins' moon?" Simon asked.

"Oh, lordy, that statue!" River exclaimed, and dissolved into Wash-like laughter.

#

(Simon):

Nobody even got around to cleaning up the gathering until the next morning, ship's time.

I was one of the first people up and around, which was odd, because I don't think I'd had any less alcohol or more sleep than anybody else, particularly. Just sort of found myself in the dining room, blearily picking up empty bottles and dishes that had some sort of food dried onto them by this point. Didn't even occur to me to get some breakfast, or some coffee, until Mal showed up and busied himself with those very things.

"Morning," I said, not quite testing the waters, but wondering what kind of reply I'd get from the captain. Not much of one, apparently. "Could you pass the yeast spread?" He did, still hardly giving me a glance. "So, everything look all ship-shape and Bristol fashion? Whatever that means?"

"I have no idea what's in fashion around Bristol, but..." Mal sighed. "We're doing alright, but I've got a bad feeling about things. Maybe it's just that not too long ago we crashed the ship, and even though she's held up well enough so far, I'm worried about every little test. Maybe... I don't know, maybe it's just because it's **not** Wash piloting. I mean, I like your little sister just fine, she's quite a brain and all kinds of talented. She got us to Boros okay and everything, but..."

"But she's never tried something like this before," I admitted. "And River... she always did have a tendency to get overconfident in her natural abilities, and assume that everything would work out according to her plan. Reality isn't always so accommodating."

Mal smiled. "Is there a particular story that you've got in mind? Aside from - well, I guess in some light volunteering for the Academy could be seen as overconfidence, but that wasn't really the core of the problem there. You were all a mite too trusting, but then..."

"No, that wasn't what I thinking of," I told him as quickly as I could get a word in over-top. "But around five months before... before she left, there was an incident with an underground foot-racing league. Not literally underground, or at least not all the time, but..." I sighed. "I suppose every world, every community, has its own ways for the young adolescents to compete for status. The fact that the activities would not be approved by adults is part of what makes success a status symbol."

"Hmm." Mal considered this a moment. "Yes, you might have a point there." I wondered if he would mention what the equivalent had been on the ranches of Shadow - something involving shooting other people's livestock or... or burying plastic 'treasures' and digging them up again, gorram it, I don't know. (Don't ask me why that would be taboo in the eyes of the adults, the plastic treasure thing. I don't even understand most of the planets that I've been on.) But Mal didn't comment any further, and after a few seconds I realized I wasn't surprised. He's always been close mouthed about his childhood, and I can understand that, Mal being the kind of man he is, and considering that he... he lost his home during the war.

"In the larger cities of Osiris, the competition is fairly simple," I continued. "You race from one point to another, or play follow-the-leader, over the pedestrian sidewalks, and various forms of available public transit. Regular subways aren't that helpful all the time, on account of the time between service, but there are moving sidewalks and - well, it does get rather intricate when you consider all the possible variations. It's not just a question of raw speed. Intelligence and experience count in a lot of little ways."

"Yes, I can see that much," Mal agreed. "Were you ever good at the foot-racing yourself?" He smiled slightly in response to the look I shot him. "Yes, I know that you were leading up to one of River's exploits, but still I was curious. Or did you never feel the need to prove yourself in this way?"

"I tried a few times," I admitted. "Didn't excel, actually. I could run, still can, and I was able to memorize a lot in terms of the transit information, but... there were a few little ways in which I fell short. Actually putting the knowledge that I had to use in a practical decision while also running at top speed was one issue, not to mention - well, I had some problems with dirty tricks, both avoiding them, and trying to use them in retaliation. Also, I'm too inhibited with authority - other travelers and security watch officers are always trying to stop the foot-racing because it's a 'public menace'..."

"Yes, I get the picture," Mal said dryly. "Go on - River got herself in too deep?"

"Yeah. She'd only tried a few times, and had been doing better and better as she learned, but - well, when she issued her first challenge, with stakes to the winner, she set up a doozy. A very long run, with herself as one of the followers and a more experienced runner as the leader. She put up an antique book that she'd gotten for her birthday and had only just finished reading - 'A brief history of time', by Hawking. I... I **knew** that she was going to lose it, and regret the whole thing, especially because the book meant more to her than winning the entire pot would have, or even the pure excitement of winning. But I couldn't talk her out of it."

"And she didn't win, did she?" I turned around, and saw Zoe in the doorway. Shook my head.

"Nope. She was the second to lose the pack. Took it really hard to her ego, too."

"Ahh. After dinner, I think I'll go up and sit co-pilot for just a little bit. River shouldn't mind." From Zoe's face, things might get ugly if my sister **did** mind. I couldn't blame her for being a bit concerned, though.

Tidying up the rest of the party mess didn't take long after breakfast, and I gave Kaylee a quick re-examination just to make sure that her collarbone and spine were doing great. After that, it was back into our bunk for a little while, to read up on the latest news on the Cortex, (I tried to start with medical updates, but couldn't avoid getting drawn into reports on the continuing unrest,) while Kaylee did some sort of checking on the nav system circuits to make sure that nothing else would go wrong without warning. After she was knocked out, apparently the damaged parts of the radar button that she'd planned on bringing in for further investigation had been lost, flying away and becoming tiny micro-meteoroids in and of themselves. Hopefully when they hit somebody or something, they wouldn't be big enough to cause any damage.

After an hour and half, she called down to me. "Hey, do you want to have lunch with Hasati?"

"Who?" And then I remembered the dark-skinned passenger man, the diplomatic negotiator for the Independents. "Sure I guess. What about River's young friend, the game strategist?"

"Haven't seen him around today, why, do you want to invite him too?"

Paused in thought. "No, not to make a big deal about it. Never mind."

"Okay, if you're sure."

Lunch was enjoyable, if always fairly plain and repetitious on board ship. This ship, at least, and in terms of the food. I love Serenity dearly, because of what she means to Kaylee and River, if not my own self... but the food preparation facilities do lead something to be desired. Just every so often, I wish I could be on one of those luxury yachts...

Wait a second, I realized silently. That's entirely the wrong attitude. You really don't want to be on any other ship, not when Kaylee and River are here, right? So - what about doing what I could to make Serenity just a little bit more comfortable? Nothing was wrong with the general structure, the hull, the engine of a Firefly-class ship. All the rest is just things that are filling space. I still had plenty of purchasing power from the stash on Boros, so it was a question of what kitchen feature I wanted most, and finding one that would be compatible with the ship...

I shook off that notion and returned to the conversation. Hasati was an interesting guy, actually, with a lot of perspective on what was going on around us. Support had apparently been growing for Robert Snyder on at least a dozen worlds while we'd been flying past the sun, and Hasati thought he could see an uncomfortable pattern growing, or at least uncomfortable for him. "The way I see it, Snyder's neo-Alliance will be strong in the core, as the old Alliance always was, and also out on the edge, where they seem to believe in the power of reforms to correct the worst egregiousnesses of corrupt officials. Only four or five border worlds will remain Independent, caught between on the border. Boros, Hera, Santo, Paquin, and maybe one out of Beaumonde or Newhall, but not both. There won't be any overt warfare to begin with, but still, it's a tough spot to be caught in."

"To begin with?" Kaylee asked, worried. "What might start fighting?"

Hasati considered before answering. "No world from one faction will attack a planet of the other side, not just now, so soon after the 'Verse has been turned upside down. But - but if one world has strong adherents from both ideologies, then fighting between them might start too easily."

"And a civil war for one world might draw in neighbours," I said, seeing it and growing worried myself. "Which one will it be - one of the maybes that you mentioned? Newhall, or Beaumonde?"

"Could be one of them," Hasati agreed. "Or - well, I'm worried about Persephone, I'll admit that much. But there's nothing that we can do about it right now. How about some more of these berry-flavoured cookies?"

#

(Jayne):

I woke up in the middle of ship's night by loud voices talking, probably in and around the cockpit. Checked to make sure that I at least had shorts on, and headed up the hatch, meaning to yell at whoever it was to be quiet, but along the way, I heard some words that got me more concerned and worried about other stuff. Don't ask me exactly what they were - you'll get the drift in a moment. "What's going on?" I remember asking that myself.

"Jayne, izzat you?" Kaylee called back. "Umm... we're gonna get to Hera a little bit too soon."

"Too soon for what?" I asked, not getting it entirely yet. "I thought that the deal was the sooner we get there with the cargo and the passengers, the more money we get for 'em." Then a connection went through. "Wait - you don't mean that we're gonna..."

"Not really... or at least, not for sure," River insisted. "But - well, the original plan was to mosey into a low orbit around the planet, take a few quick loops around to find their major spaceport, and then go in for a quiet and calm landing. We're definitely approaching too quickly for that."

"It's not a problem in the engines, is it? For sure?" Kaylee asked.

"No, I've already told you, the engines are doing fine," River insisted, as I got to the cockpit door. "It's my fault, I admit it. I did the math wrong. Wanted to save a bit of fuel, didn't retro-thrust until a little bit too late. Didn't think of the effect the slingshot would have on our reaction time."

"Okay, enough of the blame game chatter," Mal muttered, from over on the co-pilot's chair, (but not touching any of the controls, I noticed.) "What are our options? We **have** to have options."

"Of course we do," River said. "Well, if we do nothing, we're probably going to land hard enough to total Serenity and kill approximately half the hands aboard - and that's assuming that nothing actually goes explodey in the cargo bay, which is surprisingly reasonable considering how well it's been braced against sudden acceleration..."

"Still, that's not a _good_ option," Kaylee put in. "Umm, there has to be something, what about - about missing Hera entirely? Are we far enough away for that?"

"Certainly we are," River said. "We could do a hyperbolic slingshot trajectory through a medium-low orbit, and pass Hera by. The problem is, though we'd have time, and still fuel, to slow down after that, we would _not_ be able to get back to Hera by ourselves."

"So we could radio for assistance," Mal said, working it through. "They'd send a tug or some other ship capable of towing us back home, or refuelling Serenity... but it would take time, and there would probably be rescue fees assessed on our payday."

"Plus," Zoe muttered, coming up behind me to also join in the confab, "we've spotted Alliance patrol ships in the vicinity. They might not be about to attack Hera directly, but if they notice something that strange, they might want to board us to investigate what's going on - and when they find out what we're carrying and where it's bound for... that's big trouble."

"Two things," I said. "One, if we can do a low-orbit slingshot thing, why can't we just stay in orbit?"

"There's all different kinds of orbits, Jayne," Zoe told me in her 'you dumb ass' tone, "and the height isn't always as important as the speed. To stay near Hera, we'd need to have a circular or elliptical orbit, which is fairly slow. Hyperbolic orbit is faster, probably much faster in this case - we get to the spot we'd like to be, not far above Hera, but we're still moving way too fast to stop."

"Okay," I nodded, accepting the correction without taking offense. I know that I'm an iggerant bastard about a lot of things, and so cheerfully use my thick skin to ask lots of dumb questions. About the only way that I'll ever be able to learn something. (I can see how it might be an annoying habit in 'every moment counts' situations like this.) "Second, is there any way that we can ask for help before we pass Hera by? Just get their help slowing down as we zoom by?"

"I've been in contact with their orbital control already," River said. "The thing is, if anything in a more conventional orbit tries to intercept us, it'll become a high-impact collision. There are advanced sorts of nets that can be used to slow down ships without impacts, but they don't have many, and not one designed for a Firefly."

"Okay," Mal said. "So much for getting help. Can we somehow manage to land on our own? Err, safely I mean?"

"Depends on just how safe you want," River shot back. "I've heard of something that just might work. Instead of changing course to miss Hera entirely, I adjust so that we shoot down into the atmosphere directly - the same way we'd enter from orbit, but faster and a bit rougher. We'll slow ourselves down by dragging the ship through the atmosphere, letting the speed turn into heat, until it's safe to go down. It probably won't be an easy landing, and there's some danger, but if it works we'll avoid the risk of an Alliance inspection, and the financial inconvenience of rescue fees."

"Well, I've always been one for taking a stupid risk," Mal quipped. "How long before you need to know for sure?"

River checked the board. "Fifteen minutes. I'm already moving us out of the hard crash landing course, ever since I realized the danger - so it's just a question of how hard and how long I keep the thrust on."

"Good girl," Mal said absently, and turned around to look at the rest of us. "Thoughts?"

"Don't be stupid, Mal," I muttered. "We can deal with the feds, and it won't be the first time we ended up owing money at the end of a job. Better that than dying when the warheads in the hold go off."

"There's not much chance of that," Kaylee said staunchly. "I say that we take the risk. If River thinks that she can pull it off with only a few little bumps..."

"She's the one who got us inter this mess!" I flared back at little Kaylee.

"Okay, I think I've got the trend of your objection, Jayne," Mal said calmly, "and your own sentiment, Kaylee. River seemed to think that we'd do better on the direct landing, though maybe I shoulda put it to her directly..."

"Yes, if only to vote against Jayne," River called back from the cockpit.

"And since ganging up on Jayne Cobb is always so fun, I'll join in," Zoe put in. "Always thought I'd rather die on Hera than in black space, no matter what."

"Oh, come on!" I grumbled under my breath. "Not much chance that going my way would lead to any of us dying in space..."

"Well, come on," Mal said. "I'll want to hear from Simon, and Inara, and our three passengers, before committing us to a course. And we don't have that much time."

It took only a few minutes to round the others up, and then Mal summarized the two viable options for them and put 'em on the horns of the dilemma, without explaining the votes cast so far. There was an awkward silence, and Inara spoke first, saying that though it was a difficult choice, she supported taking a risk with the atmosphere drag landing. The three passengers exchanged a few muttered words among themselves, and each of them went that way too. The older ones were probably more scared of being captured as Independent agents than they were of a crash landing - both of them would have been around during the war. And the little squirt, he knew that River was flying, and probably just about worshipped anything that she did, bah.

So it was up to Simon, if I was going to get any support at all for my point of view. Not that it really mattered, Mal had a sizable majority to justify his decision if he wanted to, but I felt like having at least one right-thinking person on the ship with me would soothe my mind somehow. And of course, if Mal was leaning my way, then maybe he wouldn't go with the majority. "I... I don't think I can make a decision," Simon finally said, throwing up his hands. "Scared of both options. Put me down as a pass."

"Alright," Mal said. "We're going to go through atmospheric landing. Everybody prepare to strap down on my mark. I'll go tell River."

This was different than the last time everybody prepared for a rough landing, on Mister Universe's moon. That was sudden, and hectic. Here, aside from River working the controls, there was time to wait and nothing to do but worry about it, at least that's what I found. There's only five spots to strap into in the dining room, which is pretty much the safest place in the whole ship to be in the event of a hard landing - high up, and far from any of the edges of the Firefly. Mal insisted that the passengers get first pick, and then Inara, and then had anybody else interested draw straws for the last one. Zoe won, and then gave up her seat to the Doctor, which was a total rip. If she didn't want it for herself, she should have just bowed out, it's not something like currency that can be traded away.

So I ended up in my bunk, with a few straps around my bed to keep from getting bounced out of it, arranged where I could pull them free when I had to. It's not as bad a spot to be as it looks, in the little crew cabin hanging off the Firefly's neck, or so Kaylee kept telling me. Herself, she stayed back in the engine room 'just in case.' I'd get upset that that spot was a bit more centrally located, except that it strikes me as just possible there might be an engine breach in the middle of whatever happens, and really I don't even want to think about what might happen to her then, breathing in the radioactive by-products and what-not.

So I can't really tell you what the landing looked like. I didn't see any of it. There was noise, a kind of rattling shaking to start with, and a loud howling wind, and the ship seemed to be shaking itself apart all around me, as if my bunk might get torn loose. Things started to heat up, literally, especially anything metal that was in contact with the exterior hull.

After a lot of this, maybe five or ten minutes, the heat, the wind turning into a wine, and the rattling - there was a sort of a dipping tilt, and a thudding impact, and a grinding shaking that was even worse. I knew that that was. We'd dived into the ground, and were gouging a trench out of the ground, until everything came to a halt. Soon as that happened, I made off with the straps, and climbed out of my bunk. Things was slightly ass-kew, so my ladder was leaning back, which made it harder to get up safely, but I was ruttin' well determined. Considered going back down to the cargo bay doors, but they might be damaged, and anyway, I'd be able to get a better view from the cockpit.

Aside from the jaunty angle of everything and one crack in the windows, everything seemed fine, but something bugged me about what I saw outside. We was pointing sort of into a hillside, sloping up and up, with moss growing here and there, but very little else that was green. A few low, flattened bushes here and there, and not flattened by us, because they were where we hadn't gotten to yet.

And everywhere, there seemed to be stones poking out of the ground, regular stones in a way, made by human hands without much of the way of tools, and stuck down to mark... well, in a way, it sort of reminded me, despite the awkwardness, of...

"Is this a graveyard?" I blurted out.

Mal looked up from the co-pilot's seat. "In a way, I suppose. But not really... and I remember when it wasn't."

Uh-oh. "Wait a second, are you trying to tell me that with the whole gorram planet to choose from, we come down in..."

"Right in the middle of it," Mal said tonelessly. "Serenity Valley. The battle that decided the fate of the 'Verse was fought right here. All around us."

"Ruttin' hell," I muttered. "What do we do next?"


End file.
